I published this simple yet insightful story in the last edition of 'Bubbles' our company fun-letter. Take time to read it:
Vivek
Do You Hate Someone
A kindergarten teacher decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his plastic bag will depend on the number of people he hates. So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for one week.
Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.
The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for one week?". The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.
Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just one week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime?“
These blogs contain stories, anecdotes, poems and thoughts to inspire you live a more successful life. Welcome to Vivek Singh Blogs.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Luck
I envy Aamir Khan’s success. The amount of love and respect he draws is unparalleled. While he educated us about ‘dyslexia’ in ‘Taare Zamin Par’, he also inspired millions to pursue their calling through ‘3 Idiots’, which has gained cult status now. What helped him deliver such path breaking movies? Was it just luck?
In quest to discover answer to my question, I watched many of his interviews, read many articles, went through media reports. And here are some facts, which I feel pushed him to the top:
1. Focus: At one point of time, Aamir did have his share of flops. Before ‘Mela’ bombed at the box office, his career was fluctuating. The classic failure of ‘Mela’ gave him insight to rethink his approach to the films and he stuck to One Film at a Time and No Work on Sunday philosophy.
2. Quality above Money: He gave up the greed to make fast money by whatever came his way. It’s not easy as actors are the most insecured lots. Since then, he only did the films which excited him. The first outcome was ‘Lagaan’, which was nominated to Academy Awards in Best Foreign Language Film category.
3. Reinvent the Idea: He recognized the changing aspirations of the society and reinvented the concept of socially responsible films, which used to be appreciated only by critics. He made some of them huge commercial success.
4. Quest for Excellence: He goes deep into everything he does and absorbs the characters he plays. Imagine a 40 plus man, the father of two, playing the role of a teen in 3 Idiots. Don’t blame the media who calls him Mr. Perfectionist.
5. Everyone Should Win: He firmly believes in Win-Win. Therefore, his movies and not sold at exorbitant prices. If it’s a success everyone wins, if it’s a failure, everyone shares.
All this reminds me of the following poem:
Luck
He worked by day;
And toiled by night.
He gave up play;
And some delight.
Dry books he read;
New things to learn.
And forged ahead;
Success to earn.
He plodded on with;
Faith and pluck;
And when he won;
Men called it luck.
In quest to discover answer to my question, I watched many of his interviews, read many articles, went through media reports. And here are some facts, which I feel pushed him to the top:
1. Focus: At one point of time, Aamir did have his share of flops. Before ‘Mela’ bombed at the box office, his career was fluctuating. The classic failure of ‘Mela’ gave him insight to rethink his approach to the films and he stuck to One Film at a Time and No Work on Sunday philosophy.
2. Quality above Money: He gave up the greed to make fast money by whatever came his way. It’s not easy as actors are the most insecured lots. Since then, he only did the films which excited him. The first outcome was ‘Lagaan’, which was nominated to Academy Awards in Best Foreign Language Film category.
3. Reinvent the Idea: He recognized the changing aspirations of the society and reinvented the concept of socially responsible films, which used to be appreciated only by critics. He made some of them huge commercial success.
4. Quest for Excellence: He goes deep into everything he does and absorbs the characters he plays. Imagine a 40 plus man, the father of two, playing the role of a teen in 3 Idiots. Don’t blame the media who calls him Mr. Perfectionist.
5. Everyone Should Win: He firmly believes in Win-Win. Therefore, his movies and not sold at exorbitant prices. If it’s a success everyone wins, if it’s a failure, everyone shares.
All this reminds me of the following poem:
Luck
He worked by day;
And toiled by night.
He gave up play;
And some delight.
Dry books he read;
New things to learn.
And forged ahead;
Success to earn.
He plodded on with;
Faith and pluck;
And when he won;
Men called it luck.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
The Performance Syndrome
The recent ouster of Saurabh Ganguly from IPL 4 has left me thinking: Is good performance enough to retain your job? Dada’s performance has been praiseworthy throughout and this time nobody even bid for me. What went wrong?
If you notice closely, after Shah Rukh Khan, Saurabh has been the most prominent face of the team. He had become popular to the extent that: individual could supersede the institution. The cheers at the matches were more for Dada than to the team. Eventually Dada became a threat to KKR and he was dispended. It’s pure business!
Could Dada have done anything to retain his job? May be!
1. I’m sure Saurabh must have enjoyed every success. Every time he hit a ton, it must have reinforced the feeling that he was indispensible. He was wrong.
2. There must have been multiple signals of his ouster. He was not enough intelligent catch and interpret them.
3. He could have made effort to make sure the image of institution is not threatened, which he did not.
My final words, performance makes you myopic. If you are performing well, it’s easy to get blinded to the other factors.
So, keep your glasses on for a wider vision and don’t forget to refresh your sensors to catch the imminent threats. You may still be dumped, but it will not be a surprise for you.
If you notice closely, after Shah Rukh Khan, Saurabh has been the most prominent face of the team. He had become popular to the extent that: individual could supersede the institution. The cheers at the matches were more for Dada than to the team. Eventually Dada became a threat to KKR and he was dispended. It’s pure business!
Could Dada have done anything to retain his job? May be!
1. I’m sure Saurabh must have enjoyed every success. Every time he hit a ton, it must have reinforced the feeling that he was indispensible. He was wrong.
2. There must have been multiple signals of his ouster. He was not enough intelligent catch and interpret them.
3. He could have made effort to make sure the image of institution is not threatened, which he did not.
My final words, performance makes you myopic. If you are performing well, it’s easy to get blinded to the other factors.
So, keep your glasses on for a wider vision and don’t forget to refresh your sensors to catch the imminent threats. You may still be dumped, but it will not be a surprise for you.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Dark Candle
Do you have the tendency to crib over the past? It's not very uncommon. The following story teaches us to let go the past and enjoy life. It's worth a few minutes of yours.
Love!
Vivek
The Dark Candle
A man had a little daughter--an only and much beloved child. He lived only for her, she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health.
His best efforts proved fruitless, however, and the child died. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends, refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his normal self.
Then one night he had a dream. He was in heaven and witnessing a grand pageant of the entire little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white robed, angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed, however, that one child's candle was not lit. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing towards her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and asked, "How is that your candle is the only one not lit?" "Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out again," she said.
Just then he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear, and it's effects were immediate. From that hour on he was no longer a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling's candle be extinguished by his useless tears.
Love!
Vivek
The Dark Candle
A man had a little daughter--an only and much beloved child. He lived only for her, she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health.
His best efforts proved fruitless, however, and the child died. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends, refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his normal self.
Then one night he had a dream. He was in heaven and witnessing a grand pageant of the entire little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white robed, angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed, however, that one child's candle was not lit. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing towards her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and asked, "How is that your candle is the only one not lit?" "Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out again," she said.
Just then he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear, and it's effects were immediate. From that hour on he was no longer a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling's candle be extinguished by his useless tears.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Get Ready for Everything!
"Don't get ready for something, get ready for everything."
This quote by Warren Bennis held my attention this morning when I was browsing 'The Economic Times.' See, How well it fits into our life.
Mostly things don't work the way we want them.. then leads disappointment, frustration and worry. Why do we feel bad? Because we expect the things to go well. What if we are always on guard, we mentally prepare ourselves that things may go wrong any time in any direction?
I have noticed, however well you prepare, a few strings stay loose. Hardly have I ever been able to anticipate all problems associated with a project and prepare against all of them. Neither it's a good idea to do so.. as you are likely to get lost in the maze of details losing sight of goals. So what's the point?
While handling a project:
a. Begin with the end in mind-The good old principle. Be clear, what your goals are. What finally do you want out of it.
b.Anticipate major roadblocks and challenges you may encounter, and prepare against them.
c. Start the game and be ready for the things to go wrong anywhere.
Trust me you will be far more composed and in better position to handle it.
This quote by Warren Bennis held my attention this morning when I was browsing 'The Economic Times.' See, How well it fits into our life.
Mostly things don't work the way we want them.. then leads disappointment, frustration and worry. Why do we feel bad? Because we expect the things to go well. What if we are always on guard, we mentally prepare ourselves that things may go wrong any time in any direction?
I have noticed, however well you prepare, a few strings stay loose. Hardly have I ever been able to anticipate all problems associated with a project and prepare against all of them. Neither it's a good idea to do so.. as you are likely to get lost in the maze of details losing sight of goals. So what's the point?
While handling a project:
a. Begin with the end in mind-The good old principle. Be clear, what your goals are. What finally do you want out of it.
b.Anticipate major roadblocks and challenges you may encounter, and prepare against them.
c. Start the game and be ready for the things to go wrong anywhere.
Trust me you will be far more composed and in better position to handle it.
Monday, January 3, 2011
What's in the Name?
While browsing through the ‘Videos’ section of CNN IBN, today I came across a beautiful show called ‘Zindagi Live’ and after a long time I enjoyed a talk show so much that tears rolled down more than once. The guest today was Boman Irani.
Without digressing from the topic, I must let you know that one of the rare qualities what Boman has is: To make people feel special. This came out consistently from most of the people who knew him. What is even more compelling is that he has retained this despite all the success.
Upon being asked why he makes people feel important, he says, “I make others feel important because I want to feel special too.” Nothing new, but I find this missing in many of us. There is no dearth of people who mistreat others to prove their importance, but Boman certainly does it differently.
His wife shares, “Boman always looks for the name badge and makes sure to call the person by name, be it a bar or a movie theatre.” Considering my bad track of name recalling, this is indeed a very helpful tip for me.
This reminds me of a few basic things we can do to make people feel special:
a. Control the urge to speak. Listen!
b. Be specific while giving compliments
c. Display positive body language. Smile!
d. Shed arrogance, humility is appreciated by all, and not to forget,
e. Call them by name.
Without digressing from the topic, I must let you know that one of the rare qualities what Boman has is: To make people feel special. This came out consistently from most of the people who knew him. What is even more compelling is that he has retained this despite all the success.
Upon being asked why he makes people feel important, he says, “I make others feel important because I want to feel special too.” Nothing new, but I find this missing in many of us. There is no dearth of people who mistreat others to prove their importance, but Boman certainly does it differently.
His wife shares, “Boman always looks for the name badge and makes sure to call the person by name, be it a bar or a movie theatre.” Considering my bad track of name recalling, this is indeed a very helpful tip for me.
This reminds me of a few basic things we can do to make people feel special:
a. Control the urge to speak. Listen!
b. Be specific while giving compliments
c. Display positive body language. Smile!
d. Shed arrogance, humility is appreciated by all, and not to forget,
e. Call them by name.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
The King Of Hope
After the landslide victory in recent polls, CM Nitish Kumar has certainly become a global icon. The modest man, who reinforced the idea of ‘Action speaks louder than words’ has attracted attention from Forbes, WSJ and many other International Media houses recently while he has already been a darling to domestic media . He has transformed Bihar from a land of destitution to a state of glory, without any doubt. The person, who was a second class politician till a few years back, has become an example in Indian political circle. I was not surprised when a leading news anchor gave him higher rating than President Obama. He has set new standards, scrapped many political myths and has come out with unique solution to perennial problems. All this brings me to the question—“Do we need to relook at the definition of leadership?”
Some of the external qualities expected in global leaders are: Charisma, eloquence, positive body language, designer clothing, sense of humor etc. which make them pleasing to our eyes and music to our ears while the internal qualities expected are: Integrity, Commitment, Magnanimity, Humility, Openness, Fairness, Objectivity etc. While Nitish scores badly on the first set of qualities, he gets distinction on the second set. This bring me to the conclusion that:
a. If you are committed and hardworking, results will show.
b. Charisma and glorification may sway people for some time, but finally result matters.
c. If you can deliver, who cares about the look and accent.
d. Humility draws respect and trust.
e. You don’t really need a designer suit and fine language to inspire hope.
f. Astute planning pays off.
g. What’s done on the ground, cannot be erased with words.
h. You can shut others up by justifying, but they know very well what you are up to and
i. Even if you are not loud, the world will listen and clap if they believe in you.
Some of the external qualities expected in global leaders are: Charisma, eloquence, positive body language, designer clothing, sense of humor etc. which make them pleasing to our eyes and music to our ears while the internal qualities expected are: Integrity, Commitment, Magnanimity, Humility, Openness, Fairness, Objectivity etc. While Nitish scores badly on the first set of qualities, he gets distinction on the second set. This bring me to the conclusion that:
a. If you are committed and hardworking, results will show.
b. Charisma and glorification may sway people for some time, but finally result matters.
c. If you can deliver, who cares about the look and accent.
d. Humility draws respect and trust.
e. You don’t really need a designer suit and fine language to inspire hope.
f. Astute planning pays off.
g. What’s done on the ground, cannot be erased with words.
h. You can shut others up by justifying, but they know very well what you are up to and
i. Even if you are not loud, the world will listen and clap if they believe in you.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Self Respect vs Ego
I have been trying hard to distinguish Self Respect from Ego. Here are some of the findings which I feel differentiates the two:
Assertiveness=Self Respect
Aggression=Ego
Competing against Yourself: Self Respect
Competing against Others: Ego
Listening and speaking: Self Respect
Speaking and Speaking: Ego
Taking the responsibility: Self Respect
Blaming: Ego
Saying- I’m sorry: Self Respect
‘Silence’ when you commit mistakes: Ego
Use of polite language: Self Respect
Abusing others: Ego
Giving the deserved credit: Self Respect
Taking everyone’s credit: Ego
Appreciation and constructive feedback: Self respect
Fault finding: Ego
Sharing required information: Self Respect
Holding information to prove self importance: Ego
Focus on Objective: Self Respect
Focus on Person: Ego
I wish you to look at these differentiators from wider perspective. And you very well know, which one to adopt.
Assertiveness=Self Respect
Aggression=Ego
Competing against Yourself: Self Respect
Competing against Others: Ego
Listening and speaking: Self Respect
Speaking and Speaking: Ego
Taking the responsibility: Self Respect
Blaming: Ego
Saying- I’m sorry: Self Respect
‘Silence’ when you commit mistakes: Ego
Use of polite language: Self Respect
Abusing others: Ego
Giving the deserved credit: Self Respect
Taking everyone’s credit: Ego
Appreciation and constructive feedback: Self respect
Fault finding: Ego
Sharing required information: Self Respect
Holding information to prove self importance: Ego
Focus on Objective: Self Respect
Focus on Person: Ego
I wish you to look at these differentiators from wider perspective. And you very well know, which one to adopt.
The Cracked Pot
We have a monthly funletter for the employees in the company called 'Bubbles.' Last month this story was contributed by one of the staff and I have receive many compliments for this. Therefore, thought of sharing with you.
We tend to have inferiority complex because of our weakness, that's where we go wrong. Not just strength, our weaknesses too make us special. This story is all about this.
Take time to read and post your comments.
Cheers and love!
Vivek
The Cracked Pot
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. 'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.' The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?
'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.' Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You should take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
We tend to have inferiority complex because of our weakness, that's where we go wrong. Not just strength, our weaknesses too make us special. This story is all about this.
Take time to read and post your comments.
Cheers and love!
Vivek
The Cracked Pot
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. 'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.' The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?
'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.' Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You should take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
Don't React. Respond!
I read this article a few days back at one of my friends' Facebook post. It does deserve a few minutes of yours.
Love
Vivek
Don't React. Respond!
I happened to go to a coffee shop on a road side very recently while traveling..Suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on on a lady. I wondered if this was the cockroach’s response to all the glory that was spoken about it! She started screaming out of fear. With panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group got cranky to what was happening.
The lady finally managed to push the cockroach to another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers.
Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.
I realized even in my case then, it is not the shouting of my people or my boss at work place that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. Its not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me. More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that hurts me.
Lessons learnt from the story:
I understood, I should not react in life. I should always respond. The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always intellectual.
Love
Vivek
Don't React. Respond!
I happened to go to a coffee shop on a road side very recently while traveling..Suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on on a lady. I wondered if this was the cockroach’s response to all the glory that was spoken about it! She started screaming out of fear. With panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group got cranky to what was happening.
The lady finally managed to push the cockroach to another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers.
Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.
I realized even in my case then, it is not the shouting of my people or my boss at work place that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. Its not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me. More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that hurts me.
Lessons learnt from the story:
I understood, I should not react in life. I should always respond. The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always intellectual.
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