Yesterday, I was stuck in car inside the parking lot of a leading mall for over forty minutes. It was the first time I experienced Friday evening traffic at the Avenues. I could see otherwise well-behaved citizens honking impatiently and pushing ahead out of turn. That made me think- Just a few extra minutes in traffic makes people lose nerves and break rules, what about those who lack shelter and can’t feed their family?
It’s far easy to stay morally upright when your tummy is full, a nice suit to wear and a beautiful car to drive.
Let’s suppose you are standing next to a bakery unfed for two days and don’t have a single penny in your wallet. The Baker trusts you with the store till the time he comes back from the prayer. Can you restrain yourself from stealing? Your answer could be yes.. what you will actually do at that time.. even you don’t know. Few of us have experienced such predicament.
It’s very difficult to hold on to your principles when the time is tough and loss of hope. Trust me! That’s the time to test your true character.
These blogs contain stories, anecdotes, poems and thoughts to inspire you live a more successful life. Welcome to Vivek Singh Blogs.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Adequately Resourced
I generally get brilliant ideas at unusual places.. in the washroom, at the airport lounge, while driving or on a morning walk.
In none of these situations I carry a notepad or pen. As a consequence, when I reach office or home and try to recollect, half the ideas are already vanished.
I must admit I’m old fashioned when it comes to gadgets. I hate typing at my Samsung mobile, looking at which the sales guy gave me a sarcastic look when I asked him to show iPhone 4.
I shared the above concern (inability to recollect thoughts) with a friend of mine and his quick advice was- “Buy a phone with a voice-recorder.”
My Samsung already has a voice-recorder which I’ve never used. The problem was not with the phone, but my ability to recognize this feature.
I see many cribbing for lack of resources. When you stop over and ponder, mostly you will notice, you already have all that you to need to carry on the path to realizing your dreams.
Don’t use lack of resource as an excuse to stop you from reaching your turest potential . Keep your mind and eyes open. You’ll find yourself resourced enough.
In none of these situations I carry a notepad or pen. As a consequence, when I reach office or home and try to recollect, half the ideas are already vanished.
I must admit I’m old fashioned when it comes to gadgets. I hate typing at my Samsung mobile, looking at which the sales guy gave me a sarcastic look when I asked him to show iPhone 4.
I shared the above concern (inability to recollect thoughts) with a friend of mine and his quick advice was- “Buy a phone with a voice-recorder.”
My Samsung already has a voice-recorder which I’ve never used. The problem was not with the phone, but my ability to recognize this feature.
I see many cribbing for lack of resources. When you stop over and ponder, mostly you will notice, you already have all that you to need to carry on the path to realizing your dreams.
Don’t use lack of resource as an excuse to stop you from reaching your turest potential . Keep your mind and eyes open. You’ll find yourself resourced enough.
The (un)Objective Comment
“I loved Kites. Bollywood has come a long way.” I excitedly shared this with my friends.
“It’s bullshit. I can’t imagine Hrithik Roshan acting. Better you go and watch The Notebook. It’s true copy.” My friend Steven snapped.
I could imagine the conversation leading to argument and decided to change the topic. We started discussing how fantastic the pickup of BMW was which we were driving in.
After spending the fantastic evening in the Dubai bar, when we reached back the hotel, I was curious to know why Steven did not like Kites. I tried to probe and he endlessly reiterated that the idea was not original. I too am, not very appreciative of stolen concepts and agreed with him. However, I personally like Hrithik Roshan’s flawless performance and can bet it was one of his best. So, I added with caution, “ Where do you think Hrithik could have done better.”
“I just don’t like that nut.”
“But, you said his acting was bad.”
“I just hate the look of that six-fingered.” He snapped.
“How’s that related to his acting.” I questioned.
No answer. I assumed he did not know whether Hrithik’s performance was flawed.
This reminds that, over time our perception is built and it’s not easy to challenge them. This may sometimes stop from appreciating a great deed or celebrating a big achievement. If you still hate someone, ask yourself—WHY? If you don’t have an answer, look for something to appreciate.
Now, I’m trying to figure out why I hate Shah Rukh Khan so much.
“It’s bullshit. I can’t imagine Hrithik Roshan acting. Better you go and watch The Notebook. It’s true copy.” My friend Steven snapped.
I could imagine the conversation leading to argument and decided to change the topic. We started discussing how fantastic the pickup of BMW was which we were driving in.
After spending the fantastic evening in the Dubai bar, when we reached back the hotel, I was curious to know why Steven did not like Kites. I tried to probe and he endlessly reiterated that the idea was not original. I too am, not very appreciative of stolen concepts and agreed with him. However, I personally like Hrithik Roshan’s flawless performance and can bet it was one of his best. So, I added with caution, “ Where do you think Hrithik could have done better.”
“I just don’t like that nut.”
“But, you said his acting was bad.”
“I just hate the look of that six-fingered.” He snapped.
“How’s that related to his acting.” I questioned.
No answer. I assumed he did not know whether Hrithik’s performance was flawed.
This reminds that, over time our perception is built and it’s not easy to challenge them. This may sometimes stop from appreciating a great deed or celebrating a big achievement. If you still hate someone, ask yourself—WHY? If you don’t have an answer, look for something to appreciate.
Now, I’m trying to figure out why I hate Shah Rukh Khan so much.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The Guy In The Glass
I just read this poem and have realised how truthful it is. Thanks Dale Wimbrow for bringing such a beautiful poetry to us.
Not to be missed!
Vivek
The Guy In The Glass
When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life,
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous,
difficult test If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears,
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.
Not to be missed!
Vivek
The Guy In The Glass
When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life,
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous,
difficult test If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears,
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Don't Tweet Trouble
In the last few months we have heard at least a dozen controversies related to social networking sites and blogs. Laymen have lost jobs and ministers have lost their cabinet berths. Reporters have been fired and diplomats have been snubbed.
While facebook, twitter and blogger have made every man a super man and every lady a wonderwoman, they have created a himalayan imbalance in our lives. The conflict between personal opinion and official stand had never been rare. What is creating chaos these days is, the opinions which were limited to a close group of friends are reaching out to millions. While emotions run high among humans, it is not easy to stop yourself from tapping a tweet on your smartphone. By the time emotion settles and you realize what a misfire it was, news channels are already discussing it. Then starts protests, effigy burning, war of words and so on. This whole new set up gives no scope to damage-control. I have even seen some people closing down their accounts and many more are confused.
While the concept of social networking has empowered us to a new level, it expects us to display a great amount of restraint and responsibility.
To play safe what I do is- Access Facebook and Twitter once a day and before I post anything I’m very clear, it’s not going to cause any trouble. If in dilemma, I don’t post at all.
Happy Tweeting!
While facebook, twitter and blogger have made every man a super man and every lady a wonderwoman, they have created a himalayan imbalance in our lives. The conflict between personal opinion and official stand had never been rare. What is creating chaos these days is, the opinions which were limited to a close group of friends are reaching out to millions. While emotions run high among humans, it is not easy to stop yourself from tapping a tweet on your smartphone. By the time emotion settles and you realize what a misfire it was, news channels are already discussing it. Then starts protests, effigy burning, war of words and so on. This whole new set up gives no scope to damage-control. I have even seen some people closing down their accounts and many more are confused.
While the concept of social networking has empowered us to a new level, it expects us to display a great amount of restraint and responsibility.
To play safe what I do is- Access Facebook and Twitter once a day and before I post anything I’m very clear, it’s not going to cause any trouble. If in dilemma, I don’t post at all.
Happy Tweeting!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Don't Express An Opinion, Don't HAVE An Opinion
Whether it be a Board room or a Drawing room, silence prevails on most critical issues. Someone out there knows very well to leverage it and decision is made, although unilateral, but is assumed democratic.
Just after the meeting, I notice tete a tete taking place among the dummies (as I call them), about how autocratic the decision was. They complain that an opportunity to think was not given to them, it was too hurried, they were not prepared etc. Hardly ever they admit that their silence has prompted one-sided verdict. My comment to them in a simple phrase is:
“If you don’t express and opinion, you don’t HAVE an opinion.”
I do not advocate the vedic verse- Maunam Sarvarth Saadhanam (Silence solves all the problems). I rather believe, Silence sprouts most of the crises. More often than not, Silence is assumed as consent than otherwise.
When I search the reasons for Silence, I get the following answers:
A. Dilemma
B. Reluctance to hurt someone’s feelings and
C. Inability to take responsibility.
Don’t misinterpret my expectation, I don’t hope one to be George Bush. I just wish, s/he must express what s/he feels. In each of these situations, I have tried and tested a few ways out, and they work. This is what I advise:
A. Dilemma: State that you are not sure, you need more time to have a stand. A delayed verdict is better than a wrong verdict.
B. Reluctance to hurt someone’s feelings: Think of the consequence if you are silent. If it is justified, then keep mum. However, others must note that your silence is not assumed ‘Yes’. If not, the truth must prevail and you get an opportunity to try out diplomacy.
C. Inability to take responsibility: Remember! The pivot of the world are those who can take a call. You may have to find reasons to justify but it’s well worth it. Don’t hush the leader to emerge from you.
Just after the meeting, I notice tete a tete taking place among the dummies (as I call them), about how autocratic the decision was. They complain that an opportunity to think was not given to them, it was too hurried, they were not prepared etc. Hardly ever they admit that their silence has prompted one-sided verdict. My comment to them in a simple phrase is:
“If you don’t express and opinion, you don’t HAVE an opinion.”
I do not advocate the vedic verse- Maunam Sarvarth Saadhanam (Silence solves all the problems). I rather believe, Silence sprouts most of the crises. More often than not, Silence is assumed as consent than otherwise.
When I search the reasons for Silence, I get the following answers:
A. Dilemma
B. Reluctance to hurt someone’s feelings and
C. Inability to take responsibility.
Don’t misinterpret my expectation, I don’t hope one to be George Bush. I just wish, s/he must express what s/he feels. In each of these situations, I have tried and tested a few ways out, and they work. This is what I advise:
A. Dilemma: State that you are not sure, you need more time to have a stand. A delayed verdict is better than a wrong verdict.
B. Reluctance to hurt someone’s feelings: Think of the consequence if you are silent. If it is justified, then keep mum. However, others must note that your silence is not assumed ‘Yes’. If not, the truth must prevail and you get an opportunity to try out diplomacy.
C. Inability to take responsibility: Remember! The pivot of the world are those who can take a call. You may have to find reasons to justify but it’s well worth it. Don’t hush the leader to emerge from you.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Do the Words Speak Your Mind?
Recently, a friend regretted that she wanted to tell her boss how terrible she felt working with him, but on facing, ended up saying how handsome he looked that day. The worst happened when the Boss responded with smile considering this a compliment oblivious of the fact, she had running in mind.
This is a classic example of imbalance between the words and mind.
I myself have faltered on various occasions when it came to express what I thought. If the person was superior in hierarchy or someone who I’m not very comfortable with, made things all the more difficult. Sometimes it also happened that I didn’t know how to respond to a comment and ended up saying something what did not make sense.
After deep thinking, I have reached a conclusion that the factors which created the imbalance between my speech and mind could be one or the combination of these: courage, rapport with the person, state of mind, clarity of thought, sensitivity of the topic and the ability to articulate.
The irony is- this angle is never discussed in any communication training. If you too are down with this sickness, I have got a tip. Whenever the tongue slips, ask yourself WHY? And commit yourself not to repeat the same mistake ever.
Else, your may find a friend writing a blog on you.
This is a classic example of imbalance between the words and mind.
I myself have faltered on various occasions when it came to express what I thought. If the person was superior in hierarchy or someone who I’m not very comfortable with, made things all the more difficult. Sometimes it also happened that I didn’t know how to respond to a comment and ended up saying something what did not make sense.
After deep thinking, I have reached a conclusion that the factors which created the imbalance between my speech and mind could be one or the combination of these: courage, rapport with the person, state of mind, clarity of thought, sensitivity of the topic and the ability to articulate.
The irony is- this angle is never discussed in any communication training. If you too are down with this sickness, I have got a tip. Whenever the tongue slips, ask yourself WHY? And commit yourself not to repeat the same mistake ever.
Else, your may find a friend writing a blog on you.
Trust or E-mail
I hope you will agree if I say our communication have become too complex. SMS, web chat, Skype, emails, mobile and everything else associated with technology have rather added to the agony than making it easier.
It’s difficult to articulate the pain I undergo almost every day. Yesterday I needed to tell something sensitive to my colleague (her cabin is located 2 meters away) in a diplomatic manner, as they say. I nearly spent half an hour confused among three choices- Intercom, Face to face and email and as business goes, I ended up emailing, just to make sure I have a documentary evidence if things turn wrong. Without any delay, I got a reply with carbon copy to my Boss. I can’t challenge her aptitude, she proved smarter. She trusts others far less than I.
The erosion of trust has reached such a limit that more than expressing, we have started documenting. The more we try to use fancy corporate jargon to reach closer to manuscript our real intention, the higher others tend to misunderstand.
This reminds me how nice were days when people didn’t have choice to document. They would just meet face to face and sort out everything. I guess, they didn’t have an option, but to trust. I wish some technology brings that back. Life would be much simpler.
It’s difficult to articulate the pain I undergo almost every day. Yesterday I needed to tell something sensitive to my colleague (her cabin is located 2 meters away) in a diplomatic manner, as they say. I nearly spent half an hour confused among three choices- Intercom, Face to face and email and as business goes, I ended up emailing, just to make sure I have a documentary evidence if things turn wrong. Without any delay, I got a reply with carbon copy to my Boss. I can’t challenge her aptitude, she proved smarter. She trusts others far less than I.
The erosion of trust has reached such a limit that more than expressing, we have started documenting. The more we try to use fancy corporate jargon to reach closer to manuscript our real intention, the higher others tend to misunderstand.
This reminds me how nice were days when people didn’t have choice to document. They would just meet face to face and sort out everything. I guess, they didn’t have an option, but to trust. I wish some technology brings that back. Life would be much simpler.
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