Never Say Never

Recently, I watched a movie in which the protagonist says he will never fall in love and his employee, who is also his friend says, “Boss! Never say never.”

I found this phrase extremely profound in our lives. It gives us the leverage to adapt in changing times.

You must have heard or read this: Resolutions are made to be broken. Many repeatedly follow this too. If you are one of them, Never Say Never is a good reminder.

You will notice when we make a resolution or promise, we are in highly emotional state, immune to harsh realities of life. When the emotion fades away and reality surfaces, we find it difficult to cope. Many times it ends with strong feeling of guilt which damages our mental state.

Think, if Amitabh Bachchan had not rejoined career, would we have ever seen his groundbreaking performance on KBC?

I have seen many of addicts resolving to quit nicotine or alcohol forever and most of them have restarted after some time. They try to test their will power and they fail. This leads to the conclusion that when you decide not to do something what you are used to of, the desirability continues, which prompts future indulgence. The best way to control addiction is to reduce the intake and avoid as much as possible, instead of saying 'No' forever.

If you say Never.. your decision may be right at that point of time. But, Remember! The time changes and so do people. The precision of a decision changes with changing times.

The only thing constant in life is Change. So, Never Say Never! You might be distancing yourself from a Platinum opportunity.

Give Back My Raindrops

I miss the days when we waited for it to rain. The dark cloud in the sky used to carry a fun message and we would gear up for aqua-adventure.  As soon as it started drizzling, we would rush to soiled courtyard to feel the drizzle on own skin. We would close eyes, spread hands, head towards the sky and scream sing.  We competed while smelling the fragrance which earth produced when touched by raindrops. When the water filled up the ground we would jump and splash at each other.  We would tease, fight, and play in the wet playground created by God.

All this was possible because I was fortunate to have spent my early childhood at a remote village in India , where only unadulerated-nature ruled.

Now, shower has replaced raindrops, A.C. has replaced cool morning breeze, frozen food has replaced farm fresh fruits and vegetables, artificial plants beautify our living room and flower has occupied our desktop.  This era of modern science has prompted me to think… can man supersede nature?

Today, my eyes are desperate to see the acres of greenery, my hands are restless to touch the dew-spread paddy plants, my feet are impatient to feel the cold earth, my tongue is slobbering to taste the sun-ripe mango, my body is craving for the touch of those raindrops.

I have got the answer. Nature is priceless and nothing can replace it.

If You Were Brenda...

Inside each one of us there exists a human, who generally takes a backseat because of our material priorities.  We tend to forget that God is nowhere but within us. 

Would you have done the same if you were Brenda? Read ahead. It's truly inspiring.

Love!

Vivek

***

I'm a mother of three and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called "Smile". The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reaction.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway.....so, I thought, this would be a piece of cake (literally).

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonalds, one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special play time with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch...an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell...and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling"...his beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally deficient and the blue eyed gentle man was his salvation. I held my tears......as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford (to sit in the restaurant and warm up they had to buy something...they just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it...the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me...judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot.

I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you". I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you...God is here working through me to give you hope". I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me honey....to give me hope". We held hands for a moment and at that time we knew that only because of the Grace were we able to give .....

We are not church goers but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class,with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it....then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?" I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings (part of God) share this need to heal.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonalds, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I Graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn....unconditional acceptance......after all....we are here to learn!

by Brenda

Don't Ever Save for Special Occasion

I came across this piece yesterday and found it very true to life.  I had similar experience when I developed back-pain last year and realised I will never be able to ride bikes and run long-distance. While I was writhing in pain someone from inside said to me- "The pain is stopping you just from running, what if you'd lost life on the way to office?"

This inner voice changed my perspective towards life.

Marshall Goldsmith rightly says:

Live your dream now. If you can't do at 25, you can't do at 85. 

Love

Vivek

***

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and

lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip.
This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It
was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The
price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan
bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years
ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well,
I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on
the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His
hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the
drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special
occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores
that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane
returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's
family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or
heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without
realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words,
and they've changed my life.

I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring
the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden.

I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in
committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of
experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments
now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the
first camellia blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if
I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of
groceries without wincing.

I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware
stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my
party-going friends'.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my
vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and
hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had
she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for
granted.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew
that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends
whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't
written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days.
Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough
how much I truly love them.

I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that
would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I
open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every
minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.

by Ann Wells in the Los Angeles Times

The Slum-kid Confidence

If I ask you to imagine a slum-kid what adjectives will you use to describe him? Dirty, hungry, beggars, dark-complexioned, half-naked, bathing in sewer, picking rags, working at a tea stall etc. Right?

One of the extraordinary traits these kids possess, which we miss to notice is Confidence. Go across any slum in India, be it a metropolitan city or a rural community, you will notice innumerable kids smiling, joking, playing, teasing, singing, cycling, pranking and doing everything else you can think with full of confidence, whereas parents in a posh locality, in the living room on the 35th floor of a multistory residential complex are looking for a counselor who could make their kid confident.

Now, the question is what makes the slum-kids confident? They live in inhuman conditions, suffer from malnutrition, and spend childhood in destitution. But, still they beat rich kids in confidence.

Here is the answer.

Confidence comes naturally if you have nothing to lose.

Probably this is the case with them. Their parents, often uneducated, doing 12-15 hour hard work for a paltry sum, have little or no time to bring up the kid. So, these kids live on their own. While the rich kids depend on others for even the simplest things done, Slum-kids do even the most daunting task themselves. The austerity of poverty leads to superiority.

Secondly, while the rich kid keeps toggling the keyboard of his Macintosh defeating some alien in a space game, the Slum-kid plays pranks, shares jokes, or equals the verbal taunt with a rogue neighbour. While the rich kid is twitting or writing a scrap in the virtual world, the slum kid does the same thing in the real world. The endless human interaction gives them an upper hand. Mind it! Doing things online is far easier than doing it on face.

Finally, these kids are not suppressed by the high parent expectations. They decide what they have to do. They choose their career, they want to be in. The freedom to take decisions, makes a lot of difference.

We are so busy with work or socializing that the kids befriends computer. We are so caring that the kid loses exposure. We are so ambitious that the kid renounces his dreams. It’s not the kids, should I tell who to blame?

Go! Think how can your brat develop the Slum-kid confidence. You already have clues now.

The Kick of Silence

We are always busy, either doing something or doing many things at the same time. Because of our own affairs or of others’. Multitasking is fad. I know a few, if they are not busy, they are restive. The least they do to be at peace is, pretend to be busy. It has gradually become our nature to stay occupied. We want to show that we don’t have time (my boss says, it gives a professional feel). We are so occupied that we don’t have time to think where we are heading. I don’t blame anyone. It’s human tendency to just carry on. No one likes to wait and ponder. We commit errors, we repeat errors, but still… on the same track.

My friend, Maria has no time to read instructions while signing up for online banking. She is just rushing and wants it ASAP. When she submits, it declines. She doesn’t read the error message, does some changes and submits again. It is declined again. This happens eleven times, before she realizes she is supposed to activate the debit card by making a call before signing up. Not surprised? It nearly happens to everyone in this fast-paced universe.

What could she have done? You know the answer. But, how many of us take time to think before we act? We generally forget: Busy doesn’t equal Productive.

If we could take some time to ponder everyday in silence, we will live a far more fulfilled life. Believe me! A kick of silence lifts us to an EXtra-ordinary life.

The Price of Hate and Pardon

I was going through Paulo Coehlo blog and found this piece very appealing.

"....I don’t know if I am capable of pardoning ingratitude so easily.”

“It’s very difficult. But there is no choice: if you don’t pardon, then you’ll think about the pain they caused you and that pain will never go away. I’m not saying that you have to like those who do you wrong. I’m not telling you to go back to that person’s company. I’m not suggesting that you start seeing that person as an angel or as someone who acted without any hurtful intentions. All I am saying is that the energy of hate will take you nowhere, but the energy of pardon which manifests itself through love will manage to change your life in a positive sense.”

Extracted from Paulo Coelho blog.