The King Of Hope

After the landslide victory in recent polls, CM Nitish Kumar has certainly become a global icon. The modest man, who reinforced the idea of ‘Action speaks louder than words’ has attracted attention from Forbes, WSJ and many other International Media houses recently while he has already been a darling to domestic media . He has transformed Bihar from a land of destitution to a state of glory, without any doubt. The person, who was a second class politician till a few years back, has become an example in Indian political circle. I was not surprised when a leading news anchor gave him higher rating than President Obama. He has set new standards, scrapped many political myths and has come out with unique solution to perennial problems. All this brings me to the question—“Do we need to relook at the definition of leadership?”


Some of the external qualities expected in global leaders are: Charisma, eloquence, positive body language, designer clothing, sense of humor etc. which make them pleasing to our eyes and music to our ears while the internal qualities expected are: Integrity, Commitment, Magnanimity, Humility, Openness, Fairness, Objectivity etc. While Nitish scores badly on the first set of qualities, he gets distinction on the second set. This bring me to the conclusion that:

a. If you are committed and hardworking, results will show.
b. Charisma and glorification may sway people for some time, but finally result matters.
c. If you can deliver, who cares about the look and accent.
d. Humility draws respect and trust.
e. You don’t really need a designer suit and fine language to inspire hope.
f. Astute planning pays off.
g. What’s done on the ground, cannot be erased with words.
h. You can shut others up by justifying, but they know very well what you are up to and
i. Even if you are not loud, the world will listen and clap if they believe in you.

Self Respect vs Ego

I have been trying hard to distinguish Self Respect from Ego. Here are some of the findings which I feel differentiates the two:

Assertiveness=Self Respect
Aggression=Ego

Competing against Yourself: Self Respect
Competing against Others: Ego

Listening and speaking: Self Respect
Speaking and Speaking: Ego

Taking the responsibility: Self Respect
Blaming: Ego

Saying- I’m sorry: Self Respect
‘Silence’ when you commit mistakes: Ego

Use of polite language: Self Respect
Abusing others: Ego

Giving the deserved credit: Self Respect
Taking everyone’s credit: Ego

Appreciation and constructive feedback: Self respect
Fault finding: Ego

Sharing required information: Self Respect
Holding information to prove self importance: Ego

Focus on Objective: Self Respect
Focus on Person: Ego

I wish you to look at these differentiators from wider perspective. And you very well know, which one to adopt.

The Cracked Pot

We have a monthly funletter for the employees in the company called 'Bubbles.' Last month this story was contributed by one of the staff and I have receive many compliments for this. Therefore, thought of sharing with you.

We tend to have inferiority complex because of our weakness, that's where we go wrong. Not just strength, our weaknesses too make us special. This story is all about this.

Take time to read and post your comments.

Cheers and love!
Vivek


The Cracked Pot

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. 'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.' The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?

'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.' Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You should take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

Don't React. Respond!

I read this article a few days back at one of my friends' Facebook post. It does deserve a few minutes of yours.

Love
Vivek

Don't React. Respond!


I happened to go to a coffee shop on a road side very recently while traveling..Suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on on a lady. I wondered if this was the cockroach’s response to all the glory that was spoken about it! She started screaming out of fear. With panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group got cranky to what was happening.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach to another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized even in my case then, it is not the shouting of my people or my boss at work place that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. Its not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me. More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that hurts me.

Lessons learnt from the story:
I understood, I should not react in life. I should always respond. The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always intellectual.

The Negative Inspiration

The Negative Inspiration
All of us admire qualities in others and sometimes we like them so much that we try to incorporate them into our lives. That’s what we do very much consciously.

However, a few times we know what the deed of the other person is not right. We know that’s not a great thing to do. But, while landing into such a situation, we perform the same act, despite knowing it’s not right. Why? Because I saw someone else doing it. I call it ‘Negative Inspiration.’ Somehow our mind tries to justify a wrong deeds just because someone else was doing it. We become less rational at that time and somewhat escapist.

I was about to do the same thing yesterday, but I got it right. On many other occasions in past, I did not correct myself.

This is what happened. I was in hurry to reach office. Right after I parked the car, I knew that I needed to put the sun shade on. But I didn’t want to do it. Was feeling lazy, while my mind said it should do it. Then I looked at the car parked next to mine. My colleague had not done it. Now I got a reason, not to do it because my colleague had not done.

Another example, a more serious one. You are stuck in traffic and desperate to reach office, but you feel helpless. The emergency lane is empty and you find it very tempting to use it in order to cut the traffic. You maintain restraint. Then you see the guy behind you snaking to the emergency lane and wheeling away. While you are tempted, you see a few more vehicles doing the same. The negative action of the first guy prompted many others.

I guess, human beings get this quality by default. Very few are able to restrain. The best way to prevent yourself from falling into the trap of negative inspiration is to Stop and Think. Most often we do not analyze our action consciously, that’s exactly what we need to do.

Merry Christmas and have a blessed new year 2011
Vivek

A Special Morning Walk

For last few weeks, I have been able to continue morning walk on the gulf road. Thanks to the reduced working hours during Ramadan which triggered this initiative.

The freshness of air in the morning and to see the changing colors of sun is delightful. Besides this, a walk in nature is a fertile ground for new ideas and fills you with lasting energy.

Today I removed my shoes and walked barefoot on the grass. The tickle of green grass to my sole was something I can’t express in words. Tried this out with closed eyes. Every time my step fell on the grass, the spikes of cold grass made me feel blissful.

Secondly, I tried mixing walk with jog. I would run for some time, when tired, I would start walking, after some time I took rest sitting on the bench and again continued jogging. I envied those who were religiously running, dropping sweat beads from the forehead, but I just wanted to be comfortable not ready to tire myself with this exercise.

After reaching the viewpoint triangle, I spread my hands, closed the eyes and tried to hear the sound of flutter which my clothes were creating against the wind coming from the sea. The waves were more active than usual and created varied noise while splintering some parts on me. When I opened the eyes after a few minutes, it felt so different.

While returning, I tried counting the number of skyscrapers in Kuwait from the gulf road jogging tracks. Despite several trials, I couldn’t get it right. Still it was fun. Sometimes just trying something new feels great. I will try it again next time.

Finally, I came to the car and played Hare Krishna bhajans while driving back home. It was a special ride because there were hardly any cars on the road and I preferred a longer route. The fast ride gives you thrill, but the slow one is even better. On a free six lane road, I was driving at 50-60 km per hour, Imagine! While driving I was able to appreciate nature, streets and myself for the ability to resist from driving fast.

Can there be a better start for Friday?

Don't Do It Too Hard

Every time I have worked too hard towards something, I have lost interest faster. And once I gave that up, hardly did I go back to it.

Every now and then I keep getting groundbreaking (that’s what I feel) ideas and then I try to refine it. As long as I’m obsessed with it, everything else takes a backseat. It continues for some days or some weeks (if the idea is really great) and suddenly I feel it’s too boring and quit.

After a great amount of introspection, I have concluded that I didn’t quit because the idea was bad, I did it because my obsession faded and it became too boring due to repeated thinking about the same thing.

Like our body, our brain too needs new experiences. If we overdo one thing for some time, we are likely to lose interest and go back to square one. So the question is- how to balance it and keep our interest alive?

I have tried and it works greatly for me. Now, whenever I’m working on a new idea, I keep myself guarded. I look for the opportunity to identify the indication of fatigue. Once I feel getting close to it, I give myself a well deserved rest for some days and start again with revived interest.

And the biggest advantage is: Nothing takes the backseat anymore.

True Love

My other commitments are keeping me too occupied. Therefore, I'm unable to blog regularly.

Just a few days back, while looking for a story to be published in our company Fun letter, I came across this one. Not to say, this is one of the most touching stories I have ever read.

Have some time to go through it and comment.

Love
Vivek


True Love

It was a busy morning, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said to the doctor that he was in a hurry, as he had an appointment at 9:00am.

The doctor took his vital signs and started evaluating his wound.

On examining, he saw it was well healed, so he talked to a nurse and got the needed supplies to remove the sutures and redress the wound. While dressing the wound, the doctor asked him if he had another doctor's appointment that morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told no, as he needed to go to the nursing home to have breakfast with his wife.

The doctor inquired about his wife’s health. The elderly man told that she had been there for a while because she is a victim of Alzheimer's disease. As they talked, the doctor asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him for five years now.

The doctor was surprised and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted doctor’s hand and said, “She doesn't know me but I still know who she is.”

True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Damn the Competition

Did you ever think about competition and it scared the shit out of you? This happened to many many times.

I was then preparing for Combined Defense Services (CDS). Whenever I though about those competing with me, I tried to be optimistic, thought-- Let's look at it as a challenge and work harder. But, truth was-- the optimistic approach hardly helped in subsiding the fear. I could not stop myself from thinking how difficult it would be to contest with hundreds of thousands of applicants.

The more I thought about it, the scarier it looked and it wasn't helping at all in any way.

So, I decided to just do, what I was supposed to-- Stop thinking and start working.

Although the fear was not eliminated, yet the intensity of work was so high that everything else took a backseat. I continued for a few months, appeared for the exam and wasn't sure what would happen.

After the few months, the result was announced and I didn't care to check. One fine afternoon, I got a promotional letter from a coaching institute for Interview Preparation, which congratulated me for getting through the written examination. I was surprised. I went online, browsed through the list of successful candidates, yes, I was one of them.

Do you know even the toppers are as scared as you and me. Only after the result is announced, they come to know what a genius they are.

So, the crux is:
Damn the competition, and don't care how many are in the queue.

You job is just to do the best.

You Can Do It Better Than Me

You would agree when I say-- The higher you go on corporate ladder, the word 'ME' gets stronger. The result: Suppressed creativity, lack of motivation, low morale and inability to take decision among the team members.

On many occasions, I have seen the Senior Executive cutting down the discussion midway and announcing her decree. The silence follows, and the questions are invited just for the sake of it.
By this I don't challenge the Boss's ability to take the best decision. Mostly the senior executives have more experience, better education and wider vision than the team members.

My point is: Do we aim at just getting the work done (machine and animals do that better) or inspire the team to set new milestones, converge creativity, and create a fountain of path-breaking initiatives.

If you feel the team should deliver more than asked for, you must have belief in the phrase

"You can do it better than me." and see what follows.