Do the Words Speak Your Mind?

Recently, a friend regretted that she wanted to tell her boss how terrible she felt working with him, but on facing, ended up saying how handsome he looked that day. The worst happened when the Boss responded with smile considering this a compliment oblivious of the fact, she had running in mind.

This is a classic example of imbalance between the words and mind.
I myself have faltered on various occasions when it came to express what I thought. If the person was superior in hierarchy or someone who I’m not very comfortable with, made things all the more difficult. Sometimes it also happened that I didn’t know how to respond to a comment and ended up saying something what did not make sense.

After deep thinking, I have reached a conclusion that the factors which created the imbalance between my speech and mind could be one or the combination of these: courage, rapport with the person, state of mind, clarity of thought, sensitivity of the topic and the ability to articulate.

The irony is- this angle is never discussed in any communication training. If you too are down with this sickness, I have got a tip. Whenever the tongue slips, ask yourself WHY? And commit yourself not to repeat the same mistake ever.

Else, your may find a friend writing a blog on you.

Trust or E-mail

I hope you will agree if I say our communication have become too complex. SMS, web chat, Skype, emails, mobile and everything else associated with technology have rather added to the agony than making it easier.

It’s difficult to articulate the pain I undergo almost every day. Yesterday I needed to tell something sensitive to my colleague (her cabin is located 2 meters away) in a diplomatic manner, as they say. I nearly spent half an hour confused among three choices- Intercom, Face to face and email and as business goes, I ended up emailing, just to make sure I have a documentary evidence if things turn wrong. Without any delay, I got a reply with carbon copy to my Boss. I can’t challenge her aptitude, she proved smarter. She trusts others far less than I.

The erosion of trust has reached such a limit that more than expressing, we have started documenting. The more we try to use fancy corporate jargon to reach closer to manuscript our real intention, the higher others tend to misunderstand.

This reminds me how nice were days when people didn’t have choice to document. They would just meet face to face and sort out everything. I guess, they didn’t have an option, but to trust. I wish some technology brings that back. Life would be much simpler.

Ferrari. Does It Really Matter?

I had a very humble upbringing and have continued to live a modest life. My home to work run has improved over time. You can see the transition below:

1. Walk to School (free in 1991)
2. Second hand Bike (Avon for 300 rupees in 1993)
3. New Bike (Hero Royal for 1050 rupees in 1994)
4. Public Bus (Mostly without tickets being student 1997-2000) & Autorickshaw (2000-2005)
5. Motor Bike (TVS Apache for 56,000 rupees, 2005-2007)
7. Car (Toyota Corolla for 1,100,000 rupees, 2008-till date)

I’m very satisfied with the way I commute to office now. The car has excellent pick up, AC is fantastic, and it meets my every need very well and hasn’t ditched even once.

What if I make a lot more money. Will Ferrari make much difference? Probably not. A car like Toyota Corolla is decent enough to meet my on-road requirements.

Then why the rich brats drive Ferrari? It’s more to do with how they are perceived than the pleasure derived from driving.

Same thing applies to watches.. Timex or Rolex.. they are equally efficient.

Let me tell you.. I’m not against Ferrari or Rolex. I’m just analyzing their utility. After it reaches a stage on quality scale, the scope to improve is miniscule.

If you are a white-made millionaire, go for Ferrari. Dirting your hands for it is not worthwhile. And taking a loan to drive the red monster is sheer insanity. To experience the best of mankind, it’s always available on hire for a day or two.

Money better be put to other use. Sorry GUCCI, Prada and Armani. No wonder, you’d call I don’t have taste.

Let Go!

During my trip planning to Europe I wanted to make everything perfect and did have a perfect start. The attractive airline fare advanced the trip by three months and my boss was kind enough to permit another vacation in first half of the year. WOW! May God bless you too, with such a boss.

Preparation started. I started browsing Tripadvisor more religiously than I do Bhagwat Geeta and very soon the hotels were booked. Of course I managed to get best deals everywhere.

Visas arrived, that too well in time. My dinar power felt another punch with fall of Euro at the peak of Greek Crisis.

Just before the day I flew, I got some Dinars exchanged to Swiss Francs. The money exchange I’m loyal to, offered me best rate and I blindly bought Francs. Only after returning home, I had realized that I lost close to 40 dollars. That was a good enough to upset me. I made a call to them, the manager profusely apologized, but that was not enough to repair the money lost. I was haunted for days for that loss and the reflection could be seen on my mood. I kept cursing myself.

Then I asked myself- Why am I upset?

I realized that the reason of unhappiness was my super high expectation. I researched everything well, and did get worthy benefit. But, I was expecting even better. And that was adamant to spoil my dream trip.

I stopped and said to myself, “Let go, you can’t get the best deal at all times.” This single sentence made me feel a lot better.

We have so many things to cheer about and mostly we kept counting what we have not. Let Go! is the way to a better living.

Perfectionists are Unhappy Lot!

How many times you have seen people puffing their chest in pride before calling themselves perfectionist?

It is considered positive weakness in HR terminology and advised by career experts to be used as weakness when asked for one in an interview. Like many of you, I too have used this trick a few times and am unsure of what impact it made. Maybe they thought, I have been trained to say so.

Over years this term has puzzled me more than anything else and I have been trying to untangle its covert meaning. Of late, I started asking myself, should one be perfectionist or not?

All the people around me, who the world presumes to be perfectionist, are broadly described through these adjectives (hope you too will agree)
-finicky
-irritated
-stubborn
-faultfinder
-my way or highway
-cranky
-ruthless

Which of these adjectives you would like to label yourself with? I know you will hate be associated with any of these words.

Does it mean you should stop doing your best? No. You must look for improvement. Get better at whatever you do. Just not, to the extent that makes you and others unhappy.

The Ash-cloud Dilemma

Ash Cloud has spooked all the travelers to Europe since last month and it continues to do so. I, with my wife is travelling tomorrow to London. For a middle-class Indian it’s once in a life time event and of course we were thrilled. Now, we are anxious.

My wife was adamant, come what may, we will carry on with the trip. One reason, she loves exploring new places. Second, the news has spread all across and it’s an embarrassment when the trip is cancelled. Every time she saw the news report on BBC, a kaleidoscopic expression was taking turns on her face.
I too, was not in mood to cancel the trip, but for a different reason- with cancellation, money used for non-refundable Eurostar and TGV tickets with get death sentence.

Despite my wife’s insistence and possible loss of Euros, I could not forget the tribulations experienced by travelers last month which I saw on TV. So, I kept my fingers crossed. Deep inside I was making up my mind, not to start the trip, if things are not in order. Trust me, what I was trying to prepare myself for, was not easy, assuming the imminent World War at home.

Many times in life, we have to take tough decisions, we have to dishearten people. Not because we don’t love them, but because we love them more.

All the flights to London were on time yesterday, hope it continues till tomorrow.
Cheers! My next hi to you will be from the Eiffel Tower.
Vivek

Are You Like a Flower?

Guys! Yesterday I came across this beautiful poem. Tried hard but could not track the author. Does it teach some lessons to a better life?

Vivek

I am like a flower
Not sure of when I will die.
Not sure of when I will grow back again
When I am crushed with pain and cry.

What do I do when I'm not given enough water,
to make it through the day?
What do I do when I look up in the sky?
And the sun doesn't show a ray?

I stand as tall as a flower would,
As long as I possible can.
I will stand and show my colors,
That is what I plan.

I may droop and my petals may fall,
But that won't stop me from growing.
My love, honesty and beauty,
I will keep showing.

I am like a flower,
Strong and supreme.
I may be trampled on,
But I will never lose faith in my dreams.

Keep Swimming

Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl.
One was an optimistic soul.
But the other took the gloomy view.
"We'll drown," he lamented without much ado,
and with a last despairing cry,
he flung up his legs and said "Goodbye."

Quote the other frog with a steadfast grin,
"I can't get out but I won't give in,
I'll just swim around till my strength is spent,
then I'll die the more content."
Bravely he swam to work his scheme,
and his struggles began to churn the cream.

The more he swam, his legs a flutter,
the more the cream turned into butter.
On top of the butter at last he stopped,
and out of the bowl he gaily hopped.

If you can't hop out, keep swimming around!

The Fighter

A beatifully written and truly inspiring poem. It does deserve five minutes of yours.

Love

Vivek

The Fighter

I fight a battle every day
Against discouragement and fear;
Some foe stands always in my way,
The path ahead is never clear!
I must forever be on guard
Against the doubts that skulk along;
I get ahead by fighting hard,
But fighting keeps my spirit strong.

I hear the croakings of Despair,
The dark predictions of the weak;
I find myself pursued by Care,
No matter what the end I seek;
My victories are small and few,
It matters not how hard I strive;
Each day the fight begins anew,
But fighting keeps my hopes alive.

My dreams are spoiled by circumstance,
My plans are wrecked by Fate or Luck;
Some hour, perhaps, will bring my chance,
But that great hour has never struck;
My progress has been slow and hard,
I've had to climb and crawl and swim,
Fighting for every stubborn yard,
But I have kept in fighting trim.

I have to fight my doubts away,
And be on guard against my fears;
The feeble croaking of Dismay
Has been familiar through the years;
My dearest plans keep going wrong,
Events combine to thwart my will,
But fighting keeps my spirit strong,
And I am undefeated still!

By S. E. Kiser