Trust or E-mail

I hope you will agree if I say our communication have become too complex. SMS, web chat, Skype, emails, mobile and everything else associated with technology have rather added to the agony than making it easier.

It’s difficult to articulate the pain I undergo almost every day. Yesterday I needed to tell something sensitive to my colleague (her cabin is located 2 meters away) in a diplomatic manner, as they say. I nearly spent half an hour confused among three choices- Intercom, Face to face and email and as business goes, I ended up emailing, just to make sure I have a documentary evidence if things turn wrong. Without any delay, I got a reply with carbon copy to my Boss. I can’t challenge her aptitude, she proved smarter. She trusts others far less than I.

The erosion of trust has reached such a limit that more than expressing, we have started documenting. The more we try to use fancy corporate jargon to reach closer to manuscript our real intention, the higher others tend to misunderstand.

This reminds me how nice were days when people didn’t have choice to document. They would just meet face to face and sort out everything. I guess, they didn’t have an option, but to trust. I wish some technology brings that back. Life would be much simpler.

If You Need Me..You're not Weak...You're Just Human

I was going through Paulo's blogs and this post caught my attention.

We as species do depend on others and ther's no wrong if you show it. Living like an island serves no one. It might create a illusion that you are stronger, that's it.

You must not miss this. Kudos Paulo! for sharing such a profound insight.

Vivek

Emotional Independance

“At the beginning of our life and again when we get old, we need the help and affection of others. Unfortunately, between these two periods of our life, when we are strong and able to look after ourselves, we don’t appreciate the value of affection and compassion. As our own life begins and ends with the need for affection, wouldn’t it be better if we gave compassion and love to others while we are strong and capable?”

The above words were said by the present Dalai Lama. Really, it is very curious to see that we are proud of our emotional independence. Evidently, it is not quite like that: we continue needing others our entire life, but it is a “shame” to show that, so we prefer to cry in hiding. And when someone asks us for help, that person is considered weak and incapable of controlling his feelings.

There is an unwritten rule saying that “the world is for the strong”, that “only the fittest survive.” If it were like that, human beings would never have existed, because they are part of a species that needs to be protected for a long period of time (specialists say that we are only capable of surviving on our own after nine years of age, whereas a giraffe takes only six to eight months, and a bee is already independent in less than five minutes).

We are in this world, I, for my part, continue – and will always continue – depending on others. I depend on my wife, my friends and my publishers. I depend even on my enemies, who help me to be always trained in the use of the sword.

Clearly, there are moments when this fire blows in another direction, but I always ask myself: where are the others? Have I isolated myself too much? Like any healthy person, I also need solitude and moments of reflection.

But I cannot get addicted to that.

Emotional independence leads to absolutely nowhere – except to a would-be fortress, whose only and useless objective is to impress others.

Emotional dependence, in its turn, is like a bonfire that we light.

In the beginning, relationships are difficult. In the same way that fire is necessary to put up with the disagreeable smoke – which makes breathing hard, and causes tears to pour down one’s face. However, once the fire is alight, the smoke disappears and the flames light up everything around us – spreading warmth, calm, and possibly making an ember pop out to burn us, but that is what makes a relationship interesting, isn’t that true?

I began this column quoting a Nobel Peace Prize winner about the importance of human relationships. I am ending with Professor Albert Schweitzer, physician and missionary, who received the same Nobel prize in 1952.

“All of us know a disease in Central Africa called sleeping sickness. What we need to know is that there is a similar disease that attacks the soul – and which is very dangerous, because it catches us without being noticed. When you notice the slightest sign of indifference and lack of enthusiasm for your similar, be on the alert!”

“The only way to take precautions against this disease is to understand that the soul suffers, and suffers a lot, when we make it live superficially. The soul likes things that are beautiful and profound”

Source: www.paulocoelhoblog.com

Smile

My wife shared this poem with me yesterday and it's truly inspirational. You too enjoy it and keep smiling. Let this poem travel the world, you can simply email to the ones who you want to SMILE.

Love
Vivek

SMILE

Smiling is infectious,
You catch it like the flu,
When some one smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.

I passed around the corner
And someone saw my grin;
When he smiled I realised
I’d passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile
And realised its worth,
A single smile just like mine,
Could travel round the earth.

So if you feel a smile begin,
Don’t leave it undetected;
Let’s start an epidemic quick –
And get the world infected!

I Will Keep Trying

At my first job, I had a very dynamic and wise colleague who was recently promoted. I was curious to know what led to his promotion while many others could not succeed.
He said, “Interviewers asked me, what would you do, if a guy in your team is not performing despite your best efforts?”

Out of inquisitiveness, I asked, “how did u respond?”

He said, “I said, I will coach him again, help him out with his problems and try to raise his level.”

But the interviewers were not convinced, they asked again, “If the guy still doesn’t improve, what will you do?”

He said, “I will keep trying until he improves!”

I was not surprised. He was the best fit for the job.

What is Being Brave?

I found the following line very thought provoking while reading Bombay Rains Bombay Girls. Hope it will prompt your neurons to ponder as well..

"..being brave does not mean taking a gun and killing five bad men.. being brave is just having the courage to stand up for what is right and say it with conviction, ignoring whatever anybody else has to say."

Give Back My Raindrops

I miss the days when we waited for it to rain. The dark cloud in the sky used to carry a fun message and we would gear up for aqua-adventure.  As soon as it started drizzling, we would rush to soiled courtyard to feel the drizzle on own skin. We would close eyes, spread hands, head towards the sky and scream sing.  We competed while smelling the fragrance which earth produced when touched by raindrops. When the water filled up the ground we would jump and splash at each other.  We would tease, fight, and play in the wet playground created by God.

All this was possible because I was fortunate to have spent my early childhood at a remote village in India , where only unadulerated-nature ruled.

Now, shower has replaced raindrops, A.C. has replaced cool morning breeze, frozen food has replaced farm fresh fruits and vegetables, artificial plants beautify our living room and flower has occupied our desktop.  This era of modern science has prompted me to think… can man supersede nature?

Today, my eyes are desperate to see the acres of greenery, my hands are restless to touch the dew-spread paddy plants, my feet are impatient to feel the cold earth, my tongue is slobbering to taste the sun-ripe mango, my body is craving for the touch of those raindrops.

I have got the answer. Nature is priceless and nothing can replace it.

If You Were Brenda...

Inside each one of us there exists a human, who generally takes a backseat because of our material priorities.  We tend to forget that God is nowhere but within us. 

Would you have done the same if you were Brenda? Read ahead. It's truly inspiring.

Love!

Vivek

***

I'm a mother of three and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called "Smile". The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reaction.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway.....so, I thought, this would be a piece of cake (literally).

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonalds, one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special play time with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch...an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell...and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling"...his beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally deficient and the blue eyed gentle man was his salvation. I held my tears......as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford (to sit in the restaurant and warm up they had to buy something...they just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it...the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me...judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot.

I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you". I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you...God is here working through me to give you hope". I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me honey....to give me hope". We held hands for a moment and at that time we knew that only because of the Grace were we able to give .....

We are not church goers but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class,with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it....then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?" I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings (part of God) share this need to heal.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonalds, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I Graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn....unconditional acceptance......after all....we are here to learn!

by Brenda

Don't Ever Save for Special Occasion

I came across this piece yesterday and found it very true to life.  I had similar experience when I developed back-pain last year and realised I will never be able to ride bikes and run long-distance. While I was writhing in pain someone from inside said to me- "The pain is stopping you just from running, what if you'd lost life on the way to office?"

This inner voice changed my perspective towards life.

Marshall Goldsmith rightly says:

Live your dream now. If you can't do at 25, you can't do at 85. 

Love

Vivek

***

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and

lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip.
This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It
was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The
price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan
bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years
ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well,
I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on
the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His
hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the
drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special
occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores
that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane
returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's
family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or
heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without
realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words,
and they've changed my life.

I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring
the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden.

I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in
committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of
experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments
now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the
first camellia blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if
I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of
groceries without wincing.

I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware
stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my
party-going friends'.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my
vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and
hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had
she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for
granted.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew
that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends
whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't
written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days.
Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough
how much I truly love them.

I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that
would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I
open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every
minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.

by Ann Wells in the Los Angeles Times