No One Agrees, Still You Can Be Right

All of us like to be acknowledged and appreciated. Everyone loves if her viewpoint is seconded by others. When we encounter differing point of view, sometimes we question our own capabilities. Is it wrong? No! We are just acting human.

Validation of our idea reinforces our belief in it at the same time the contradiction creates a new set of opportunities. It gives us an opportunity to look from a different angle which might result in reaching a more ambitious outcome. The problem is- Most people prefer to give up when criticized, than looking for an answer.

The world has few visionaries who believe in the beauty of their dreams and are tirelessly pushing to make them come true. They are made of altogether different DNA, which is incomprehensible by the common populace. But, when it comes to sharing those ideas, they don’t find many likeminded around. And, they end up discussing them with the ordinary citizens, who were never able to look beyond their daily needs, and end up disheartened.

That should not be the reason to quit. You’d agree, there are not many who change the shape of the world and if you are one of them, then most around you should not agree.

If others believe in what you do, you have reason to feel good. If not, they have surrendered to ordinaryhood. You have to overcome and set a new landmark.

The Privilege of Ordinary Living

Hardly anyone is not attracted towards the glamour of celebrity lifestyle… millions of followers, a couple of islands, tinted limousines, designer clothes, plush watches and to top it all—picture on the front page of a leading daily, if not Time.

A lot of hard work, a bit of luck and consistent pursuit for excellence have given them so much visibility and many of them do deserve our appreciation. However, I feel most of them pay a huge price for celebrityhood. This reminds me of a statement by Michelle Obama how their kids felt after seeing Obama’s photo in the newspaper- “First day, when you see your father on the front page, it makes you proud. When you see him every day, you feel like you’ve lost him.”

Statements like this hardly surface, but commonsense does suggest, it‘s commonplace.

Let’s have a look what we can do and they can’t:

1. We can visit neighborhood temple any time we wish. Sachin Tendulkar does it at 1:00 am. To make a temple visit he has to sacrifice his night’s sleep.

2. We don’t need security right outside the bedroom and bathroom. They literally have no privacy.

3. Aishwarya Rai cannot plan a child because of her professional commitments. Producers will decide when she is going to be a Mom. Thank God! Most of the ordinary employment offer one to three month of maternity leave.

4. If we give into the temptation of having an affair, no one gives a damn. Tiger Woods lost his billions and now his career is on the tenterhooks.

5. Paparazzi don’t chase us to death, as they did to Princess Diana. Do we really care who’s following us?

6. Our tweets don’t take away the chairmanship. Lalit Modi will spend remaining of his life in disgrace and visiting courts.

7. We can freely express our viewpoint without caring what will my sponsor/party chief thinks. That’s what Amar Singh is doing after being fired from SP. Read his blogs.

8. Mostly, our friendship is defined by love, care and support and we cherish it all through our life. Icons are so obsessed with their own self that the only thing defining their friendship is opportunism. You all know, recent disaster is Farah Khan-SRK break up.

9. If you have a potbelly, so what? Still you can try some Pani Poori or Aloo chat without any thought that someone is going to replace you in the next movie.

10. Now, the most important thing. You can cry, laugh or cheer as you wish. A public figure can’t even express true emotion in public. It’s all about image, my dear! Imagine Tom Cruise, if he is caught crying on camera.

So what if we have a small car and no islands? Three cheers to the ordinary life. Let’s enjoy our commonhood!

All Are Equal. I Don't Think So..

Frequently we get to hear that we should treat everyone equally and I too advocate it to a great extent. But, is it practical?

Generally, you tend to behave more respectfully with your superiors , what if you give same treatment to the bottom of the ladder. I have met many guys who are mature enough to interpret your intention. But, there is no dearth of shallow characters, who become frank to the point that you feel the authority being challenged. Many of them take your politeness for granted and you do not attract the deserving respect.

I have encountered this on many occasions and was unsure for years, how to react. Now, I very well know how to handle it. Here are some tips:

1. Define your relationship both at work and in social arena. Find out what level of openness is needed to sail through comfortably.

2. Know yourself better. Identify your ego strength and be clear how you want to be treated.

3. Take your time to open. If the person is mature and you do not see the possibility of being challenged, you can be more open. If the guy scores low on maturity scale, better keeping it formal.

4. Don’t ever reveal your dark secrets. You never know what equation you will have after two months with the listener. Relationship dynamics change more frequently than we ever imagine.

5. Respect everyone irrespective of the position. Just the level of formality is to be customized.

Break Your Stereotypes

I went to Europe with the following stereotypes:

1. Europeans are racist
2. English is hardly used in France and Switzerland.
3. There are hardly any Indian Restaurant
4. Very few Indians travel to Europe
5. Petty crimes are widely prevalent in Paris
6. The Sun sets at 6-7 pm

Trust me, most of these were ruthlessly bombed. After the visit this is what I have to say:

1. Hardly anyone is racist. People are generally very helpful, far better than how we treat them on visit to the Taj Mahal.
2. No need to master French. You can comfortably manage with English at most places.
3. We found plenty of Indian Restaurant and Vegetarian Food at all places except Murren.
4. We saw buses after buses full of Indians, particularly in Switzerland. Yashraj magic.
5. Did not encounter and saw chain-snatching, pick pocketing, roadside scams (it doesn’t mean they don’t exist)
6. It’s visible till 10 pm.

Similarly, before I came to Kuwait I used to think:

1. Every local is a Sheikh
2. Arabs are brutal and unfriendly
3. Things are expensive
4. Living in Saudi and Kuwait are same
5. Buildings have Islamic appearance
6. I can’t stay there for more than two years (just because I want to make some money)
7. You will see only sand everywhere
8. The citizens own oil wells and everyone is ultra-rich

Now, after spending over two and half years this is what I feel:
1. Only the king and his family are Sheikh, others are just citizens
2. Not all of them. Many are western educated and more cosmopolitan than an average Indian.
3. Very few things are more expensive than India. Except housing and food materials, other stuff are nearly at par. Cars are nearly 30 percent cheaper.
4. There is sea difference in Saudi and Kuwait. It’s more tolerant. People wear modern outfits. Most women work and are overly made up. Business attire is Western suit. And English is widely spoken and understood.
5. Most new constructions are highly modern. Tall glass rectangular towers.
6. I’m about to complete three years. Probably as comfortable, if not, more than India. You get Jalebi, Samosa, Pani Poori and everything else you can imagine in Delhi, better than what’s offered in many parts of India and you can use Hindi, Tamil, Telugu, Gujarati and Malayalam at most of the places you visit.
7. Most streets are landscaped and kept as clean as Parliament Street. Beaches are very well maintained and offer quite a few things to do.
8. The government own oil and most of the citizen have office job and not everyone is ultra rich.

Most of us live through stereotypes, which we consider truth. The world is far different. Open your mind and see the world from a new angle.

Ferrari. Does It Really Matter?

I had a very humble upbringing and have continued to live a modest life. My home to work run has improved over time. You can see the transition below:

1. Walk to School (free in 1991)
2. Second hand Bike (Avon for 300 rupees in 1993)
3. New Bike (Hero Royal for 1050 rupees in 1994)
4. Public Bus (Mostly without tickets being student 1997-2000) & Autorickshaw (2000-2005)
5. Motor Bike (TVS Apache for 56,000 rupees, 2005-2007)
7. Car (Toyota Corolla for 1,100,000 rupees, 2008-till date)

I’m very satisfied with the way I commute to office now. The car has excellent pick up, AC is fantastic, and it meets my every need very well and hasn’t ditched even once.

What if I make a lot more money. Will Ferrari make much difference? Probably not. A car like Toyota Corolla is decent enough to meet my on-road requirements.

Then why the rich brats drive Ferrari? It’s more to do with how they are perceived than the pleasure derived from driving.

Same thing applies to watches.. Timex or Rolex.. they are equally efficient.

Let me tell you.. I’m not against Ferrari or Rolex. I’m just analyzing their utility. After it reaches a stage on quality scale, the scope to improve is miniscule.

If you are a white-made millionaire, go for Ferrari. Dirting your hands for it is not worthwhile. And taking a loan to drive the red monster is sheer insanity. To experience the best of mankind, it’s always available on hire for a day or two.

Money better be put to other use. Sorry GUCCI, Prada and Armani. No wonder, you’d call I don’t have taste.

Let Go!

During my trip planning to Europe I wanted to make everything perfect and did have a perfect start. The attractive airline fare advanced the trip by three months and my boss was kind enough to permit another vacation in first half of the year. WOW! May God bless you too, with such a boss.

Preparation started. I started browsing Tripadvisor more religiously than I do Bhagwat Geeta and very soon the hotels were booked. Of course I managed to get best deals everywhere.

Visas arrived, that too well in time. My dinar power felt another punch with fall of Euro at the peak of Greek Crisis.

Just before the day I flew, I got some Dinars exchanged to Swiss Francs. The money exchange I’m loyal to, offered me best rate and I blindly bought Francs. Only after returning home, I had realized that I lost close to 40 dollars. That was a good enough to upset me. I made a call to them, the manager profusely apologized, but that was not enough to repair the money lost. I was haunted for days for that loss and the reflection could be seen on my mood. I kept cursing myself.

Then I asked myself- Why am I upset?

I realized that the reason of unhappiness was my super high expectation. I researched everything well, and did get worthy benefit. But, I was expecting even better. And that was adamant to spoil my dream trip.

I stopped and said to myself, “Let go, you can’t get the best deal at all times.” This single sentence made me feel a lot better.

We have so many things to cheer about and mostly we kept counting what we have not. Let Go! is the way to a better living.

Perfectionists are Unhappy Lot!

How many times you have seen people puffing their chest in pride before calling themselves perfectionist?

It is considered positive weakness in HR terminology and advised by career experts to be used as weakness when asked for one in an interview. Like many of you, I too have used this trick a few times and am unsure of what impact it made. Maybe they thought, I have been trained to say so.

Over years this term has puzzled me more than anything else and I have been trying to untangle its covert meaning. Of late, I started asking myself, should one be perfectionist or not?

All the people around me, who the world presumes to be perfectionist, are broadly described through these adjectives (hope you too will agree)
-finicky
-irritated
-stubborn
-faultfinder
-my way or highway
-cranky
-ruthless

Which of these adjectives you would like to label yourself with? I know you will hate be associated with any of these words.

Does it mean you should stop doing your best? No. You must look for improvement. Get better at whatever you do. Just not, to the extent that makes you and others unhappy.

The Ash-cloud Dilemma

Ash Cloud has spooked all the travelers to Europe since last month and it continues to do so. I, with my wife is travelling tomorrow to London. For a middle-class Indian it’s once in a life time event and of course we were thrilled. Now, we are anxious.

My wife was adamant, come what may, we will carry on with the trip. One reason, she loves exploring new places. Second, the news has spread all across and it’s an embarrassment when the trip is cancelled. Every time she saw the news report on BBC, a kaleidoscopic expression was taking turns on her face.
I too, was not in mood to cancel the trip, but for a different reason- with cancellation, money used for non-refundable Eurostar and TGV tickets with get death sentence.

Despite my wife’s insistence and possible loss of Euros, I could not forget the tribulations experienced by travelers last month which I saw on TV. So, I kept my fingers crossed. Deep inside I was making up my mind, not to start the trip, if things are not in order. Trust me, what I was trying to prepare myself for, was not easy, assuming the imminent World War at home.

Many times in life, we have to take tough decisions, we have to dishearten people. Not because we don’t love them, but because we love them more.

All the flights to London were on time yesterday, hope it continues till tomorrow.
Cheers! My next hi to you will be from the Eiffel Tower.
Vivek

Are You Like a Flower?

Guys! Yesterday I came across this beautiful poem. Tried hard but could not track the author. Does it teach some lessons to a better life?

Vivek

I am like a flower
Not sure of when I will die.
Not sure of when I will grow back again
When I am crushed with pain and cry.

What do I do when I'm not given enough water,
to make it through the day?
What do I do when I look up in the sky?
And the sun doesn't show a ray?

I stand as tall as a flower would,
As long as I possible can.
I will stand and show my colors,
That is what I plan.

I may droop and my petals may fall,
But that won't stop me from growing.
My love, honesty and beauty,
I will keep showing.

I am like a flower,
Strong and supreme.
I may be trampled on,
But I will never lose faith in my dreams.

Keep Swimming

Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl.
One was an optimistic soul.
But the other took the gloomy view.
"We'll drown," he lamented without much ado,
and with a last despairing cry,
he flung up his legs and said "Goodbye."

Quote the other frog with a steadfast grin,
"I can't get out but I won't give in,
I'll just swim around till my strength is spent,
then I'll die the more content."
Bravely he swam to work his scheme,
and his struggles began to churn the cream.

The more he swam, his legs a flutter,
the more the cream turned into butter.
On top of the butter at last he stopped,
and out of the bowl he gaily hopped.

If you can't hop out, keep swimming around!