Let Go!

During my trip planning to Europe I wanted to make everything perfect and did have a perfect start. The attractive airline fare advanced the trip by three months and my boss was kind enough to permit another vacation in first half of the year. WOW! May God bless you too, with such a boss.

Preparation started. I started browsing Tripadvisor more religiously than I do Bhagwat Geeta and very soon the hotels were booked. Of course I managed to get best deals everywhere.

Visas arrived, that too well in time. My dinar power felt another punch with fall of Euro at the peak of Greek Crisis.

Just before the day I flew, I got some Dinars exchanged to Swiss Francs. The money exchange I’m loyal to, offered me best rate and I blindly bought Francs. Only after returning home, I had realized that I lost close to 40 dollars. That was a good enough to upset me. I made a call to them, the manager profusely apologized, but that was not enough to repair the money lost. I was haunted for days for that loss and the reflection could be seen on my mood. I kept cursing myself.

Then I asked myself- Why am I upset?

I realized that the reason of unhappiness was my super high expectation. I researched everything well, and did get worthy benefit. But, I was expecting even better. And that was adamant to spoil my dream trip.

I stopped and said to myself, “Let go, you can’t get the best deal at all times.” This single sentence made me feel a lot better.

We have so many things to cheer about and mostly we kept counting what we have not. Let Go! is the way to a better living.

If You Need Me..You're not Weak...You're Just Human

I was going through Paulo's blogs and this post caught my attention.

We as species do depend on others and ther's no wrong if you show it. Living like an island serves no one. It might create a illusion that you are stronger, that's it.

You must not miss this. Kudos Paulo! for sharing such a profound insight.

Vivek

Emotional Independance

“At the beginning of our life and again when we get old, we need the help and affection of others. Unfortunately, between these two periods of our life, when we are strong and able to look after ourselves, we don’t appreciate the value of affection and compassion. As our own life begins and ends with the need for affection, wouldn’t it be better if we gave compassion and love to others while we are strong and capable?”

The above words were said by the present Dalai Lama. Really, it is very curious to see that we are proud of our emotional independence. Evidently, it is not quite like that: we continue needing others our entire life, but it is a “shame” to show that, so we prefer to cry in hiding. And when someone asks us for help, that person is considered weak and incapable of controlling his feelings.

There is an unwritten rule saying that “the world is for the strong”, that “only the fittest survive.” If it were like that, human beings would never have existed, because they are part of a species that needs to be protected for a long period of time (specialists say that we are only capable of surviving on our own after nine years of age, whereas a giraffe takes only six to eight months, and a bee is already independent in less than five minutes).

We are in this world, I, for my part, continue – and will always continue – depending on others. I depend on my wife, my friends and my publishers. I depend even on my enemies, who help me to be always trained in the use of the sword.

Clearly, there are moments when this fire blows in another direction, but I always ask myself: where are the others? Have I isolated myself too much? Like any healthy person, I also need solitude and moments of reflection.

But I cannot get addicted to that.

Emotional independence leads to absolutely nowhere – except to a would-be fortress, whose only and useless objective is to impress others.

Emotional dependence, in its turn, is like a bonfire that we light.

In the beginning, relationships are difficult. In the same way that fire is necessary to put up with the disagreeable smoke – which makes breathing hard, and causes tears to pour down one’s face. However, once the fire is alight, the smoke disappears and the flames light up everything around us – spreading warmth, calm, and possibly making an ember pop out to burn us, but that is what makes a relationship interesting, isn’t that true?

I began this column quoting a Nobel Peace Prize winner about the importance of human relationships. I am ending with Professor Albert Schweitzer, physician and missionary, who received the same Nobel prize in 1952.

“All of us know a disease in Central Africa called sleeping sickness. What we need to know is that there is a similar disease that attacks the soul – and which is very dangerous, because it catches us without being noticed. When you notice the slightest sign of indifference and lack of enthusiasm for your similar, be on the alert!”

“The only way to take precautions against this disease is to understand that the soul suffers, and suffers a lot, when we make it live superficially. The soul likes things that are beautiful and profound”

Source: www.paulocoelhoblog.com

Date with Destiny

Life keeps showering surprises every now and then. There are times when I worked very hard, but things didn’t work. I can also vividly remember instances when I didn’t take things seriously, but got groundbreaking results.

I strongly believe that there’s something which control our lives beyond our efforts. There’s someone who fixes our date with destiny or disasters. Don’t know how it works, but it does work.

I can’t visualize anyone who’s failed more than me. I was doing Company Secretaryship along with graduation, I failed there. Doubly motivated by my failure, I tried Network Marketing, it was again not my cup of tea. Started preparing for Armed Forces, passed the written exams, but couldn’t crack the interview. I can still recollect disappointment in my Mom’s eyes after she heard the result. Started preparing for other government jobs, nothing worked. Then, my fascination towards Call Centers started. Went for the first interview, got stuck in final stage. Tried at EXL, GE, Daksh, American Express, Convergys,Vertex, Global Vantedge and uncountable other companies which were hiring for Call Centers. None of them selected me. It went to the extent that GE would reject me right over the phone, whenever I called them again. Probably my voice skills were not up to the mark. I didn’t give up. Tried again, and again and again. Finally, I got a call from Daksh for non-voice process. I can’t forget how happy I was when I got the offer letter. It was the happiest moment of my life.

I know that was not a perfect interview, probably someone had fixed my date with the destiny.

Does it mean should we leave everything up to destiny? Not at all! Had I stopped trying, I would have never got that job. More important than luck was Persistence. Never Stop! Keep trying and wait for the lady luck to smile at you.

Don't be Serious, Be Sincere

Yesterday I received this speech through email from one of my colleagues. Chetan Bhagat delivered this speech at Symbiosys, India to the BBA students. It makes a lot of sense and hope will bring some spark in your life too. I'm a big fan of Bhagat, who's not just read all his book, but is also waiting for the next one. Just like his books, this piece is interesting and I'm sure will stay in your mind for long.

Love!
Vivek

Dont just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup.
There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts.
Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

"Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? .

It's ok! Bunk a few classes, score low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, fall in love, have little fights with your spouse. We are people, not programmed devices..... ...." :)

"Don't be serious, be sincere."!!

A Cold Winter Forecast

Today I read this beautiful story and have been appreciating this profound thought since then. This incredibly tells us the influence we have on others although widely undermined by ourselves. Many of us get influenced by others, hardly do we know that we too influence many more. Must read!

Please do not hesitate to share it with all your loved ones.

Love

Vivek

It was autumn, and the Red Indians on the reservation
asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be
cold or mild. Since he was a Red Indian chief in a
modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was
going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side,
he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed
going to be cold and that the members of the village
should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days
he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the
National Weather Service and asked "Is the coming
winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter
is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist
at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them
to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the
National Weather Service again.

"Is it going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man from the National Weather Service again
replied, "it's definitely going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them
to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service
again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be
very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man added. "It's going to be one of the
coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Red Indians are collecting
wood like crazy.

Source: www.managetrainlearn.com

If you can’t Measure, You can’t Manage

I was going through a time-management presentation and this slide hit me hard. The full credit for this quote goes to Peter Druker. How apt it is in our life?
It’s fun not to measure what we do. It takes extra effort to keep track of our performance.

Most of us complain for overwork in the office. If you make a log of productive hours, you will notice how underworked you are. We count the number of hours, not how the hours are spent. It goes very well with the saying:

“It doesn’t matter how many years you have in life; what matters is how many life you put in those years.”

80 per cent of our activities in life are not measured. Whatever we are is the result of the remaining 20 per cent. Imagine, where we would land if we measure just a little more?

Set goals, set up parameters to measure and strive beating yourself every time you try. It’s not going to be easy, but it will be worthwhile.

Smile

My wife shared this poem with me yesterday and it's truly inspirational. You too enjoy it and keep smiling. Let this poem travel the world, you can simply email to the ones who you want to SMILE.

Love
Vivek

SMILE

Smiling is infectious,
You catch it like the flu,
When some one smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.

I passed around the corner
And someone saw my grin;
When he smiled I realised
I’d passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile
And realised its worth,
A single smile just like mine,
Could travel round the earth.

So if you feel a smile begin,
Don’t leave it undetected;
Let’s start an epidemic quick –
And get the world infected!

I Will Keep Trying

At my first job, I had a very dynamic and wise colleague who was recently promoted. I was curious to know what led to his promotion while many others could not succeed.
He said, “Interviewers asked me, what would you do, if a guy in your team is not performing despite your best efforts?”

Out of inquisitiveness, I asked, “how did u respond?”

He said, “I said, I will coach him again, help him out with his problems and try to raise his level.”

But the interviewers were not convinced, they asked again, “If the guy still doesn’t improve, what will you do?”

He said, “I will keep trying until he improves!”

I was not surprised. He was the best fit for the job.

Forgive for Your Own Sake

An early morning, when I turned on BBC, I was in the middle of an ongoing documentary. An old lady in late 50s was talking about her only daughter who was brutally killed after being sexually assaulted by a robber at the farmhouse.
Like others, she decided to fight for her daughter’s justice. The court case lasted for many years. At last, the accused was awarded a death sentence. Finally this is what she said, “… I had a satisfaction that the sinner was punished. But, still I was not at peace. One day I decided to see the convict at the prison. His face was stubbed and pale, and he looked hopelessly at me. I couldn’t believe. I was moved, something from inside stirred me and I decided to forgive..”

“..just in a moment my life was transformed. I felt as if I’m relieved of a big burden. I felt free.”

Revenge is a natural response right after we are hurt. It might console for a while but doesn’t set us free. We still live with a heaviness of guilt. The only way to freedom is forgiveness.

As a human, we feel generous while forgiving. Do it, not for anyone, but yourself!

What's the price

Paulo is unquestionably the greatest storyteller of present times. I picked this story from his blog. Enjoy reading!

Love
Vivek



“Is the price of living a dream much higher than the price of living without daring to dream?” asked the disciple.

The master took him to a clothes store. There, he asked him to try on a suit in exactly his size. The disciple obeyed, and was very amazed at the quality of the clothes.

Then the master asked him to try on the same suit – but this time a size much bigger than his own. The disciple did as he was asked.

“This one is no use. It’s too big.”

“How much are these suits?” the master asked the shop attendant.

“They both cost the same price. It’s just the size that is different.”

When leaving the store, the master told his disciple, “Living your dream or giving it up also costs the same price, which is usually very high. But the first lets us share the miracle of life, and the second is of no use to us.”

Source: www.paulocoelhoblog.com

Seeing is Deceiving

We believe what we see, and generally we are very sure, what we have seen can’t be wrong. Mostly we live life driven by this tenet. First impression plays gargantuan role in our life.

We shop based on first impression, we make friends based on first impression, we pick job based on first impression, we fall in love based on first impression and I’m sure it applies far deeper in our life.

While shopping based on first impression may have negligible impact on our life, other decision based on it could alter our life enormously.

You might have heard instances of Evening wedding Morning divorce around. If you ask the parties involved, they’d say they could’ve taken more time to decide.

I read this story somewhere..

The children on bus hated him because his face looked horrifying as if burnt in fire. They took no time to give him a new name..Villain. Nobody talked to him and the journey continued in darkness. It was 1130 pm and the bus stopped with a screeching sound. The tire was gone. The driver pulled out the tire and lifted by the passing bus to the reach a garage. Everyone was stuck in the middle of nowhere. It was scary being at the centre of the desert with no populace in the radius of 40 miles. It was dead silence and any uncalled for event could not be ruled out. All were shaken. A passenger talked about the robbery in this area last week that manifolded the fear.

The man with burnt face stood up and waved at a kid. The child moved ahead hesitatingly. He started sharing a story. Gradually more kids joined in. They were cracking jokes, and shouting poems. Soon the parents also got involved. Misery turned into instant celebration.

Later, the passengers realized that he was a firefighter, who got hurt while saving people from sky scrapper on fire. Despite injury and deep burn on his face, he was able to save 7 lives.

Now, the same man turned hero to the kids.

Take time to understand before you reach a conclusion. Seeing may prove deceiving, at times.

What is Being Brave?

I found the following line very thought provoking while reading Bombay Rains Bombay Girls. Hope it will prompt your neurons to ponder as well..

"..being brave does not mean taking a gun and killing five bad men.. being brave is just having the courage to stand up for what is right and say it with conviction, ignoring whatever anybody else has to say."

Rise with the Sun, Relax with the Moon

Each one of us has gone through our share of struggle and rewards. You would agree hard work doesn’t always pay. You must have experienced time in your life when you passionately wanted something and worked hard towards it. You failed. But, you didn’t give up. You tried again.. this time harder. You failed again. Still you didn’t quit. You tried again with full force. No result yet! Of course you are frustrated and wondering what else you can do to make it happen. You change course.. try again with full precision. But, still no success! And you quit.

Who is to be blamed? None! Because time is just not right.

Now, you are happily enjoying life. Unexpectedly, a big pleasant news surprises you which turns around your life. You didn’t work hard for it. Neither, you expected such a return. But it happened because lady luck was smiling at you.

These mysteries make our life even more enjoyable.

If things are not working out for you, don’t push too hard. Relax! Preserve your energy and wait for your time to come.

When it is your time, push yourself the hardest. Nobody can stop you from winning.

The greatest lessons of life are to be learnt from nature. Look at the lotus. It preserves energy whole night, waits for the morning to bloom. Lotus knows if it is dark, however hard it tries, it can’t bloom.

So, Rise with the Sun, Relax with the moon.

Newton Rules Your Life !

I was staring at the sky sitting in my balcony, suddenly a thought struck my mind.. Newton Rules My Life. Let’s not misinterpret I’m going to talk something scientific.

I presume, you too remember Newton’s third law of motion. I’ve quizzed hundreds of people and everyone was able to tell me in some form. If you can’t recollect.. you too quiz someone. You will get the answer.

Suppose you are waiting at a signal to turn it green. Parallel to your car, you see a guy looking at you from his car. You look back and sincerely smile. The guy smiles back.

Let’s change the situation.

You had a bad day in the office. You come home and press the bell. Your wife opens the door and you straightaway head inside without even looking at her. You throw the laptop in the corner, sit on the couch, close your eyes resting your head and she asks, “What do you want to have in dinner?” You shout, “NOTHING!” Imagine what will be her response.

Didn’t you experience the third law of motion?

Also, think about the following actions and actively notice the reaction:

1. Be the first to greet the receptionist at the check in counter on the air port.

2. Brake you car to offer a crossing to a pedestrian.

3. Offer your seat to an elderly person in train or bus.

4. Sincerely thank a colleague for her support.

5. Let your spouse know how deeply you love her.

If observed closely, you’ll notice Newton rules every second of your life. Give more to get more!

Rebuild the Bridge

People had assembled to have glimpse of the legendary sage in the huge ground.  Holy chants were resonating and the ambience was euphoric. It was a beautiful village located amidst the hills and the only thing connecting the village was the wooden-bridge over river Beas.

The sage clad in saffron waived his hand towards the public to calm down and asked, “What will you do if the floodwater washes away the bridge?”

“We will rebuild the bridge!” everyone screamed at once.

“Why will you rebuild the bridge?”

There was skepticism after this question among the crowd because the answer was very clear. Still, some of them said, “Because the bridge is our lifeline and we can’t wait.”

“True!” the saint paused.

“When we experience a loss in life, we tend to worry and repent when it’s the time to act.  Mostly, you will notice people reiterating the loss which further worsens their state.  Many losses are irreparable, but our life demands action. The sooner you rebuild the bridge the happier you will be.”

The message was very clear.

I find this story very apt in these turbulent times. Many have lost their entire life’s saving, some have lost job, a few have received pay cuts and a fear psychosis has gripped most of us.  But, we all know life is not going to end here, it has to move on.

So, let’s start finding ways to rebuild our bridge.  No crisis in the universe comes without a way out, you just need an eye to look for.

Never Say Never

Recently, I watched a movie in which the protagonist says he will never fall in love and his employee, who is also his friend says, “Boss! Never say never.”

I found this phrase extremely profound in our lives. It gives us the leverage to adapt in changing times.

You must have heard or read this: Resolutions are made to be broken. Many repeatedly follow this too. If you are one of them, Never Say Never is a good reminder.

You will notice when we make a resolution or promise, we are in highly emotional state, immune to harsh realities of life. When the emotion fades away and reality surfaces, we find it difficult to cope. Many times it ends with strong feeling of guilt which damages our mental state.

Think, if Amitabh Bachchan had not rejoined career, would we have ever seen his groundbreaking performance on KBC?

I have seen many of addicts resolving to quit nicotine or alcohol forever and most of them have restarted after some time. They try to test their will power and they fail. This leads to the conclusion that when you decide not to do something what you are used to of, the desirability continues, which prompts future indulgence. The best way to control addiction is to reduce the intake and avoid as much as possible, instead of saying 'No' forever.

If you say Never.. your decision may be right at that point of time. But, Remember! The time changes and so do people. The precision of a decision changes with changing times.

The only thing constant in life is Change. So, Never Say Never! You might be distancing yourself from a Platinum opportunity.

Give Back My Raindrops

I miss the days when we waited for it to rain. The dark cloud in the sky used to carry a fun message and we would gear up for aqua-adventure.  As soon as it started drizzling, we would rush to soiled courtyard to feel the drizzle on own skin. We would close eyes, spread hands, head towards the sky and scream sing.  We competed while smelling the fragrance which earth produced when touched by raindrops. When the water filled up the ground we would jump and splash at each other.  We would tease, fight, and play in the wet playground created by God.

All this was possible because I was fortunate to have spent my early childhood at a remote village in India , where only unadulerated-nature ruled.

Now, shower has replaced raindrops, A.C. has replaced cool morning breeze, frozen food has replaced farm fresh fruits and vegetables, artificial plants beautify our living room and flower has occupied our desktop.  This era of modern science has prompted me to think… can man supersede nature?

Today, my eyes are desperate to see the acres of greenery, my hands are restless to touch the dew-spread paddy plants, my feet are impatient to feel the cold earth, my tongue is slobbering to taste the sun-ripe mango, my body is craving for the touch of those raindrops.

I have got the answer. Nature is priceless and nothing can replace it.

If You Were Brenda...

Inside each one of us there exists a human, who generally takes a backseat because of our material priorities.  We tend to forget that God is nowhere but within us. 

Would you have done the same if you were Brenda? Read ahead. It's truly inspiring.

Love!

Vivek

***

I'm a mother of three and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called "Smile". The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reaction.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway.....so, I thought, this would be a piece of cake (literally).

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonalds, one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special play time with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch...an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell...and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling"...his beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally deficient and the blue eyed gentle man was his salvation. I held my tears......as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford (to sit in the restaurant and warm up they had to buy something...they just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it...the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me...judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot.

I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you". I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you...God is here working through me to give you hope". I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me honey....to give me hope". We held hands for a moment and at that time we knew that only because of the Grace were we able to give .....

We are not church goers but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class,with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it....then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?" I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings (part of God) share this need to heal.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonalds, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I Graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn....unconditional acceptance......after all....we are here to learn!

by Brenda

Don't Ever Save for Special Occasion

I came across this piece yesterday and found it very true to life.  I had similar experience when I developed back-pain last year and realised I will never be able to ride bikes and run long-distance. While I was writhing in pain someone from inside said to me- "The pain is stopping you just from running, what if you'd lost life on the way to office?"

This inner voice changed my perspective towards life.

Marshall Goldsmith rightly says:

Live your dream now. If you can't do at 25, you can't do at 85. 

Love

Vivek

***

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and

lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip.
This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It
was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The
price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan
bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years
ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well,
I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on
the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His
hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the
drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special
occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores
that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane
returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's
family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or
heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without
realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words,
and they've changed my life.

I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring
the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden.

I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in
committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of
experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments
now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the
first camellia blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if
I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of
groceries without wincing.

I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware
stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my
party-going friends'.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my
vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and
hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had
she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for
granted.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew
that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends
whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't
written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days.
Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough
how much I truly love them.

I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that
would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I
open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every
minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.

by Ann Wells in the Los Angeles Times

The Slum-kid Confidence

If I ask you to imagine a slum-kid what adjectives will you use to describe him? Dirty, hungry, beggars, dark-complexioned, half-naked, bathing in sewer, picking rags, working at a tea stall etc. Right?

One of the extraordinary traits these kids possess, which we miss to notice is Confidence. Go across any slum in India, be it a metropolitan city or a rural community, you will notice innumerable kids smiling, joking, playing, teasing, singing, cycling, pranking and doing everything else you can think with full of confidence, whereas parents in a posh locality, in the living room on the 35th floor of a multistory residential complex are looking for a counselor who could make their kid confident.

Now, the question is what makes the slum-kids confident? They live in inhuman conditions, suffer from malnutrition, and spend childhood in destitution. But, still they beat rich kids in confidence.

Here is the answer.

Confidence comes naturally if you have nothing to lose.

Probably this is the case with them. Their parents, often uneducated, doing 12-15 hour hard work for a paltry sum, have little or no time to bring up the kid. So, these kids live on their own. While the rich kids depend on others for even the simplest things done, Slum-kids do even the most daunting task themselves. The austerity of poverty leads to superiority.

Secondly, while the rich kid keeps toggling the keyboard of his Macintosh defeating some alien in a space game, the Slum-kid plays pranks, shares jokes, or equals the verbal taunt with a rogue neighbour. While the rich kid is twitting or writing a scrap in the virtual world, the slum kid does the same thing in the real world. The endless human interaction gives them an upper hand. Mind it! Doing things online is far easier than doing it on face.

Finally, these kids are not suppressed by the high parent expectations. They decide what they have to do. They choose their career, they want to be in. The freedom to take decisions, makes a lot of difference.

We are so busy with work or socializing that the kids befriends computer. We are so caring that the kid loses exposure. We are so ambitious that the kid renounces his dreams. It’s not the kids, should I tell who to blame?

Go! Think how can your brat develop the Slum-kid confidence. You already have clues now.