Never Say Never

Recently, I watched a movie in which the protagonist says he will never fall in love and his employee, who is also his friend says, “Boss! Never say never.”

I found this phrase extremely profound in our lives. It gives us the leverage to adapt in changing times.

You must have heard or read this: Resolutions are made to be broken. Many repeatedly follow this too. If you are one of them, Never Say Never is a good reminder.

You will notice when we make a resolution or promise, we are in highly emotional state, immune to harsh realities of life. When the emotion fades away and reality surfaces, we find it difficult to cope. Many times it ends with strong feeling of guilt which damages our mental state.

Think, if Amitabh Bachchan had not rejoined career, would we have ever seen his groundbreaking performance on KBC?

I have seen many of addicts resolving to quit nicotine or alcohol forever and most of them have restarted after some time. They try to test their will power and they fail. This leads to the conclusion that when you decide not to do something what you are used to of, the desirability continues, which prompts future indulgence. The best way to control addiction is to reduce the intake and avoid as much as possible, instead of saying 'No' forever.

If you say Never.. your decision may be right at that point of time. But, Remember! The time changes and so do people. The precision of a decision changes with changing times.

The only thing constant in life is Change. So, Never Say Never! You might be distancing yourself from a Platinum opportunity.

The Slum-kid Confidence

If I ask you to imagine a slum-kid what adjectives will you use to describe him? Dirty, hungry, beggars, dark-complexioned, half-naked, bathing in sewer, picking rags, working at a tea stall etc. Right?

One of the extraordinary traits these kids possess, which we miss to notice is Confidence. Go across any slum in India, be it a metropolitan city or a rural community, you will notice innumerable kids smiling, joking, playing, teasing, singing, cycling, pranking and doing everything else you can think with full of confidence, whereas parents in a posh locality, in the living room on the 35th floor of a multistory residential complex are looking for a counselor who could make their kid confident.

Now, the question is what makes the slum-kids confident? They live in inhuman conditions, suffer from malnutrition, and spend childhood in destitution. But, still they beat rich kids in confidence.

Here is the answer.

Confidence comes naturally if you have nothing to lose.

Probably this is the case with them. Their parents, often uneducated, doing 12-15 hour hard work for a paltry sum, have little or no time to bring up the kid. So, these kids live on their own. While the rich kids depend on others for even the simplest things done, Slum-kids do even the most daunting task themselves. The austerity of poverty leads to superiority.

Secondly, while the rich kid keeps toggling the keyboard of his Macintosh defeating some alien in a space game, the Slum-kid plays pranks, shares jokes, or equals the verbal taunt with a rogue neighbour. While the rich kid is twitting or writing a scrap in the virtual world, the slum kid does the same thing in the real world. The endless human interaction gives them an upper hand. Mind it! Doing things online is far easier than doing it on face.

Finally, these kids are not suppressed by the high parent expectations. They decide what they have to do. They choose their career, they want to be in. The freedom to take decisions, makes a lot of difference.

We are so busy with work or socializing that the kids befriends computer. We are so caring that the kid loses exposure. We are so ambitious that the kid renounces his dreams. It’s not the kids, should I tell who to blame?

Go! Think how can your brat develop the Slum-kid confidence. You already have clues now.