Forgive for Your Own Sake

An early morning, when I turned on BBC, I was in the middle of an ongoing documentary. An old lady in late 50s was talking about her only daughter who was brutally killed after being sexually assaulted by a robber at the farmhouse.
Like others, she decided to fight for her daughter’s justice. The court case lasted for many years. At last, the accused was awarded a death sentence. Finally this is what she said, “… I had a satisfaction that the sinner was punished. But, still I was not at peace. One day I decided to see the convict at the prison. His face was stubbed and pale, and he looked hopelessly at me. I couldn’t believe. I was moved, something from inside stirred me and I decided to forgive..”

“..just in a moment my life was transformed. I felt as if I’m relieved of a big burden. I felt free.”

Revenge is a natural response right after we are hurt. It might console for a while but doesn’t set us free. We still live with a heaviness of guilt. The only way to freedom is forgiveness.

As a human, we feel generous while forgiving. Do it, not for anyone, but yourself!

Are You a Discounting Brand?

Recently I read a brilliant interview of Lutz Bethge, CEO Mont Blanc at economictimes.com. He was asked whether he would also resort to discounting like other luxury retailers. Here is what he said:

“That is not our way. Mont Blanc has always conveyed to customers that we create products of sustainable value. …If you have a promise from a brand that says this is the kind of product you can pass down the generations and the next day you see it heavily marked down, would you still trust the brand?”

I have enormous respect for the confidence he has in Mont Blanc. A true brand is what it stands for unaffected by the market conditions.

We too, like these brands get under pressure in challenging times. We too have the temptation to surrender our values and embrace painless choices. We forget, that’s the real test of what we stand for. If we stand by our values even in demanding times, we would rise above mediocrity and be an example for mankind to follow.

What's Your Brand Name?

Nike, GE, Philips, Fed Ex, Ferrari, Toyota, Google, Rolex--- What do these brands known for? You’d say reliability, quality, good service, value, trust, innovation etc.

How did these words flash to your mind? Most of these companies have been in business for decades and have displayed these incredible characteristics over a period of time, which have created a niche in our memory.

Does this apply to us human beings? Oh yes!

In my behavioral training sessions, I ask participants to think of five adjectives what their family, friends and relatives will put before their name. This is a very powerful exercise which gives them an opportunity to see from a different eye. You can try this too.

Each one of us has created a brand image in the eyes of others and will continue to do so. Based on which our relationship is defined. Now, it is up to you to decide what do you stand for--- trust, reliability, innovation, energy or ---?

What's the price

Paulo is unquestionably the greatest storyteller of present times. I picked this story from his blog. Enjoy reading!

Love
Vivek



“Is the price of living a dream much higher than the price of living without daring to dream?” asked the disciple.

The master took him to a clothes store. There, he asked him to try on a suit in exactly his size. The disciple obeyed, and was very amazed at the quality of the clothes.

Then the master asked him to try on the same suit – but this time a size much bigger than his own. The disciple did as he was asked.

“This one is no use. It’s too big.”

“How much are these suits?” the master asked the shop attendant.

“They both cost the same price. It’s just the size that is different.”

When leaving the store, the master told his disciple, “Living your dream or giving it up also costs the same price, which is usually very high. But the first lets us share the miracle of life, and the second is of no use to us.”

Source: www.paulocoelhoblog.com

Seeing is Deceiving

We believe what we see, and generally we are very sure, what we have seen can’t be wrong. Mostly we live life driven by this tenet. First impression plays gargantuan role in our life.

We shop based on first impression, we make friends based on first impression, we pick job based on first impression, we fall in love based on first impression and I’m sure it applies far deeper in our life.

While shopping based on first impression may have negligible impact on our life, other decision based on it could alter our life enormously.

You might have heard instances of Evening wedding Morning divorce around. If you ask the parties involved, they’d say they could’ve taken more time to decide.

I read this story somewhere..

The children on bus hated him because his face looked horrifying as if burnt in fire. They took no time to give him a new name..Villain. Nobody talked to him and the journey continued in darkness. It was 1130 pm and the bus stopped with a screeching sound. The tire was gone. The driver pulled out the tire and lifted by the passing bus to the reach a garage. Everyone was stuck in the middle of nowhere. It was scary being at the centre of the desert with no populace in the radius of 40 miles. It was dead silence and any uncalled for event could not be ruled out. All were shaken. A passenger talked about the robbery in this area last week that manifolded the fear.

The man with burnt face stood up and waved at a kid. The child moved ahead hesitatingly. He started sharing a story. Gradually more kids joined in. They were cracking jokes, and shouting poems. Soon the parents also got involved. Misery turned into instant celebration.

Later, the passengers realized that he was a firefighter, who got hurt while saving people from sky scrapper on fire. Despite injury and deep burn on his face, he was able to save 7 lives.

Now, the same man turned hero to the kids.

Take time to understand before you reach a conclusion. Seeing may prove deceiving, at times.

Count the Stars

Last night, fed up with air-conditioned environment, I decided to breathe some hot air (Remember! I’m in Kuwait) and rushed to the balcony. I closed my eyes and loved the smooth warm blow on my face. It felt better than the recycled AC air. Then, I looked up at the sky and realized I had stopped noticing the stars up there. So, I started counting the stars. It was fun, but not easy. Before I could complete the count a few would disappear or new ones showed up.

I kept trying for 30 minutes and thoroughly loved it. This reminded me of childhood days when my kid brother and I would lie on the cot in the courtyard and counted the stars. Our count never matched and we squabbled to prove ourselves right. We even fought and finally it ended up with recounting.

Our life is so mechanized that small acts like these make us feel so happy and different. You too can try this out.

I guess it was much better than toggling keys on computer games. It was far so different, yet simple.

Rise with the Sun, Relax with the Moon

Each one of us has gone through our share of struggle and rewards. You would agree hard work doesn’t always pay. You must have experienced time in your life when you passionately wanted something and worked hard towards it. You failed. But, you didn’t give up. You tried again.. this time harder. You failed again. Still you didn’t quit. You tried again with full force. No result yet! Of course you are frustrated and wondering what else you can do to make it happen. You change course.. try again with full precision. But, still no success! And you quit.

Who is to be blamed? None! Because time is just not right.

Now, you are happily enjoying life. Unexpectedly, a big pleasant news surprises you which turns around your life. You didn’t work hard for it. Neither, you expected such a return. But it happened because lady luck was smiling at you.

These mysteries make our life even more enjoyable.

If things are not working out for you, don’t push too hard. Relax! Preserve your energy and wait for your time to come.

When it is your time, push yourself the hardest. Nobody can stop you from winning.

The greatest lessons of life are to be learnt from nature. Look at the lotus. It preserves energy whole night, waits for the morning to bloom. Lotus knows if it is dark, however hard it tries, it can’t bloom.

So, Rise with the Sun, Relax with the moon.

Newton Rules Your Life !

I was staring at the sky sitting in my balcony, suddenly a thought struck my mind.. Newton Rules My Life. Let’s not misinterpret I’m going to talk something scientific.

I presume, you too remember Newton’s third law of motion. I’ve quizzed hundreds of people and everyone was able to tell me in some form. If you can’t recollect.. you too quiz someone. You will get the answer.

Suppose you are waiting at a signal to turn it green. Parallel to your car, you see a guy looking at you from his car. You look back and sincerely smile. The guy smiles back.

Let’s change the situation.

You had a bad day in the office. You come home and press the bell. Your wife opens the door and you straightaway head inside without even looking at her. You throw the laptop in the corner, sit on the couch, close your eyes resting your head and she asks, “What do you want to have in dinner?” You shout, “NOTHING!” Imagine what will be her response.

Didn’t you experience the third law of motion?

Also, think about the following actions and actively notice the reaction:

1. Be the first to greet the receptionist at the check in counter on the air port.

2. Brake you car to offer a crossing to a pedestrian.

3. Offer your seat to an elderly person in train or bus.

4. Sincerely thank a colleague for her support.

5. Let your spouse know how deeply you love her.

If observed closely, you’ll notice Newton rules every second of your life. Give more to get more!

Never Say Never

Recently, I watched a movie in which the protagonist says he will never fall in love and his employee, who is also his friend says, “Boss! Never say never.”

I found this phrase extremely profound in our lives. It gives us the leverage to adapt in changing times.

You must have heard or read this: Resolutions are made to be broken. Many repeatedly follow this too. If you are one of them, Never Say Never is a good reminder.

You will notice when we make a resolution or promise, we are in highly emotional state, immune to harsh realities of life. When the emotion fades away and reality surfaces, we find it difficult to cope. Many times it ends with strong feeling of guilt which damages our mental state.

Think, if Amitabh Bachchan had not rejoined career, would we have ever seen his groundbreaking performance on KBC?

I have seen many of addicts resolving to quit nicotine or alcohol forever and most of them have restarted after some time. They try to test their will power and they fail. This leads to the conclusion that when you decide not to do something what you are used to of, the desirability continues, which prompts future indulgence. The best way to control addiction is to reduce the intake and avoid as much as possible, instead of saying 'No' forever.

If you say Never.. your decision may be right at that point of time. But, Remember! The time changes and so do people. The precision of a decision changes with changing times.

The only thing constant in life is Change. So, Never Say Never! You might be distancing yourself from a Platinum opportunity.

Don't Ever Save for Special Occasion

I came across this piece yesterday and found it very true to life.  I had similar experience when I developed back-pain last year and realised I will never be able to ride bikes and run long-distance. While I was writhing in pain someone from inside said to me- "The pain is stopping you just from running, what if you'd lost life on the way to office?"

This inner voice changed my perspective towards life.

Marshall Goldsmith rightly says:

Live your dream now. If you can't do at 25, you can't do at 85. 

Love

Vivek

***

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and

lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip.
This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It
was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The
price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan
bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years
ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well,
I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on
the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His
hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the
drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special
occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores
that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane
returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's
family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or
heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without
realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words,
and they've changed my life.

I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring
the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden.

I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in
committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of
experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments
now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the
first camellia blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if
I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of
groceries without wincing.

I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware
stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my
party-going friends'.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my
vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and
hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had
she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for
granted.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew
that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends
whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't
written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days.
Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough
how much I truly love them.

I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that
would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I
open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every
minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.

by Ann Wells in the Los Angeles Times