To Master Change, First Dread it

I read this article on Harvard Business Review and it has given me a new perspective to change. Take time to read it.

Cheers!

Vivek

One of my favorite truisms is that change is always a threat when done to me, but it is an opportunity when done by me. Many people hate change because it is inflicted on them; someone else is making them do it. Or because circumstances are totally out of their control. (As a bumper sticker says, "One nuclear war could ruin a whole career.") On the other hand, people change all the time and love it, because they go after something they want - a new venture, a new book, a new spouse, a new baby, a new home, a new career step. In fact, when change is someone's chance to act on personal goals, it is not even called change. It is just "my project."

Tough times shift the done by me/done to me change ratio to the threatening side of loss of control, even beyond struggling industries such as autos or newspapers. Threats arouse defenses that can be paralyzing, just when action is needed. The external forces are too powerful, and the mess made by those already in place is too big for people to regain a feeling of control or find the silver linings of opportunity.

A counter-intuitive tip for mastering change is to start by wallowing in the feelings of dread it arouses. The sheer nail-biting horror of it all. Get in touch with every negative aspect, all the things that could go wrong. Then figure out a way to get that negative force on your side. In short, "Dream your worst nightmare and invest in it."

That nightmare-to-investment point comes from John Taysom, a serial entrepreneur in London who, for a glorious time in the first Internet boom, saved Reuters from being replaced by new technology. While others were whining or denying that rapid advance in Internet technologies would displace Reuters' business model, Taysom looked the beast in the face and analyzed it. He found that the worse nightmares lay in search, for one thing, as well as networking technologies, and that most of the deniers were wrong to say that new companies could never provide the security of data that Reuters offered.

He asked, in short: What will disrupt us? Who is starting to eat away at our proposition? What is emerging to replace us? And how can I make those companies and technologies our partners, befriending and joining the enemies before they destroy us?

Reuters had always commissioned small technology projects from external companies to augment internal R&D. But Taysom recognized that the contracting process, with its RFPs, was likely to get the developers' last ideas rather than their next ideas, and he wanted to go with them toward the next phase. He wanted Reuters to learn from them and make money off them as they developed, while influencing change within Reuters.

Taysom moved from London to Silicon Valley. Despite being nearly fired by Reuters early on for radical thinking, he invested in a range of promising startups, getting board or observer seats and offering new tech ventures not only cash but a Reuters customer. He led one of the first investments in Yahoo! when its founders were still living in the Stanford University dorms. The Greenhouse Fund Taysom started not only made a lot of money for Reuters, it brought rapid learning and partnerships that converted the nightmare into productive changes. Taysom's nightmare and subsequent decision to befriend the potential destroyers of his company helped push transformation. Since then, Taysom moved on, and so did Reuters, which is now part of Thomson Reuters.

This nightmare-first theory is not a pessimistic outlook on life. I examined the research on optimism and pessimism for my book Confidence. It appears that optimists are less afraid of their nightmares than pessimists. Pessimists are more likely to deny or avoid negative information. Optimists are more likely to look at the dark side, because they have the confidence to feel that they can do something about it.

So let me wish you pleasant dreams. And also productive nightmares.

by Rosabeth Moss Kanter. Published in Harvard Business Review

Seeing is Deceiving

We believe what we see, and generally we are very sure, what we have seen can’t be wrong. Mostly we live life driven by this tenet. First impression plays gargantuan role in our life.

We shop based on first impression, we make friends based on first impression, we pick job based on first impression, we fall in love based on first impression and I’m sure it applies far deeper in our life.

While shopping based on first impression may have negligible impact on our life, other decision based on it could alter our life enormously.

You might have heard instances of Evening wedding Morning divorce around. If you ask the parties involved, they’d say they could’ve taken more time to decide.

I read this story somewhere..

The children on bus hated him because his face looked horrifying as if burnt in fire. They took no time to give him a new name..Villain. Nobody talked to him and the journey continued in darkness. It was 1130 pm and the bus stopped with a screeching sound. The tire was gone. The driver pulled out the tire and lifted by the passing bus to the reach a garage. Everyone was stuck in the middle of nowhere. It was scary being at the centre of the desert with no populace in the radius of 40 miles. It was dead silence and any uncalled for event could not be ruled out. All were shaken. A passenger talked about the robbery in this area last week that manifolded the fear.

The man with burnt face stood up and waved at a kid. The child moved ahead hesitatingly. He started sharing a story. Gradually more kids joined in. They were cracking jokes, and shouting poems. Soon the parents also got involved. Misery turned into instant celebration.

Later, the passengers realized that he was a firefighter, who got hurt while saving people from sky scrapper on fire. Despite injury and deep burn on his face, he was able to save 7 lives.

Now, the same man turned hero to the kids.

Take time to understand before you reach a conclusion. Seeing may prove deceiving, at times.

Count the Stars

Last night, fed up with air-conditioned environment, I decided to breathe some hot air (Remember! I’m in Kuwait) and rushed to the balcony. I closed my eyes and loved the smooth warm blow on my face. It felt better than the recycled AC air. Then, I looked up at the sky and realized I had stopped noticing the stars up there. So, I started counting the stars. It was fun, but not easy. Before I could complete the count a few would disappear or new ones showed up.

I kept trying for 30 minutes and thoroughly loved it. This reminded me of childhood days when my kid brother and I would lie on the cot in the courtyard and counted the stars. Our count never matched and we squabbled to prove ourselves right. We even fought and finally it ended up with recounting.

Our life is so mechanized that small acts like these make us feel so happy and different. You too can try this out.

I guess it was much better than toggling keys on computer games. It was far so different, yet simple.

What is Being Brave?

I found the following line very thought provoking while reading Bombay Rains Bombay Girls. Hope it will prompt your neurons to ponder as well..

"..being brave does not mean taking a gun and killing five bad men.. being brave is just having the courage to stand up for what is right and say it with conviction, ignoring whatever anybody else has to say."

Back from Holidays!

I have just come back from holidays in India. I realised my long-cherished dream of visiting Himachal. It had all elements of fun and adventure. We did river-rafting in Pirdi, Snowscooter at Rohtang, Paragliding at Naggar and adventure trip on Manali-Leh highway. It was a bliss to be in heavenly Himachal. Here are some of the pics:

Rise with the Sun, Relax with the Moon

Each one of us has gone through our share of struggle and rewards. You would agree hard work doesn’t always pay. You must have experienced time in your life when you passionately wanted something and worked hard towards it. You failed. But, you didn’t give up. You tried again.. this time harder. You failed again. Still you didn’t quit. You tried again with full force. No result yet! Of course you are frustrated and wondering what else you can do to make it happen. You change course.. try again with full precision. But, still no success! And you quit.

Who is to be blamed? None! Because time is just not right.

Now, you are happily enjoying life. Unexpectedly, a big pleasant news surprises you which turns around your life. You didn’t work hard for it. Neither, you expected such a return. But it happened because lady luck was smiling at you.

These mysteries make our life even more enjoyable.

If things are not working out for you, don’t push too hard. Relax! Preserve your energy and wait for your time to come.

When it is your time, push yourself the hardest. Nobody can stop you from winning.

The greatest lessons of life are to be learnt from nature. Look at the lotus. It preserves energy whole night, waits for the morning to bloom. Lotus knows if it is dark, however hard it tries, it can’t bloom.

So, Rise with the Sun, Relax with the moon.

Newton Rules Your Life !

I was staring at the sky sitting in my balcony, suddenly a thought struck my mind.. Newton Rules My Life. Let’s not misinterpret I’m going to talk something scientific.

I presume, you too remember Newton’s third law of motion. I’ve quizzed hundreds of people and everyone was able to tell me in some form. If you can’t recollect.. you too quiz someone. You will get the answer.

Suppose you are waiting at a signal to turn it green. Parallel to your car, you see a guy looking at you from his car. You look back and sincerely smile. The guy smiles back.

Let’s change the situation.

You had a bad day in the office. You come home and press the bell. Your wife opens the door and you straightaway head inside without even looking at her. You throw the laptop in the corner, sit on the couch, close your eyes resting your head and she asks, “What do you want to have in dinner?” You shout, “NOTHING!” Imagine what will be her response.

Didn’t you experience the third law of motion?

Also, think about the following actions and actively notice the reaction:

1. Be the first to greet the receptionist at the check in counter on the air port.

2. Brake you car to offer a crossing to a pedestrian.

3. Offer your seat to an elderly person in train or bus.

4. Sincerely thank a colleague for her support.

5. Let your spouse know how deeply you love her.

If observed closely, you’ll notice Newton rules every second of your life. Give more to get more!

Rebuild the Bridge

People had assembled to have glimpse of the legendary sage in the huge ground.  Holy chants were resonating and the ambience was euphoric. It was a beautiful village located amidst the hills and the only thing connecting the village was the wooden-bridge over river Beas.

The sage clad in saffron waived his hand towards the public to calm down and asked, “What will you do if the floodwater washes away the bridge?”

“We will rebuild the bridge!” everyone screamed at once.

“Why will you rebuild the bridge?”

There was skepticism after this question among the crowd because the answer was very clear. Still, some of them said, “Because the bridge is our lifeline and we can’t wait.”

“True!” the saint paused.

“When we experience a loss in life, we tend to worry and repent when it’s the time to act.  Mostly, you will notice people reiterating the loss which further worsens their state.  Many losses are irreparable, but our life demands action. The sooner you rebuild the bridge the happier you will be.”

The message was very clear.

I find this story very apt in these turbulent times. Many have lost their entire life’s saving, some have lost job, a few have received pay cuts and a fear psychosis has gripped most of us.  But, we all know life is not going to end here, it has to move on.

So, let’s start finding ways to rebuild our bridge.  No crisis in the universe comes without a way out, you just need an eye to look for.

Never Say Never

Recently, I watched a movie in which the protagonist says he will never fall in love and his employee, who is also his friend says, “Boss! Never say never.”

I found this phrase extremely profound in our lives. It gives us the leverage to adapt in changing times.

You must have heard or read this: Resolutions are made to be broken. Many repeatedly follow this too. If you are one of them, Never Say Never is a good reminder.

You will notice when we make a resolution or promise, we are in highly emotional state, immune to harsh realities of life. When the emotion fades away and reality surfaces, we find it difficult to cope. Many times it ends with strong feeling of guilt which damages our mental state.

Think, if Amitabh Bachchan had not rejoined career, would we have ever seen his groundbreaking performance on KBC?

I have seen many of addicts resolving to quit nicotine or alcohol forever and most of them have restarted after some time. They try to test their will power and they fail. This leads to the conclusion that when you decide not to do something what you are used to of, the desirability continues, which prompts future indulgence. The best way to control addiction is to reduce the intake and avoid as much as possible, instead of saying 'No' forever.

If you say Never.. your decision may be right at that point of time. But, Remember! The time changes and so do people. The precision of a decision changes with changing times.

The only thing constant in life is Change. So, Never Say Never! You might be distancing yourself from a Platinum opportunity.

Give Back My Raindrops

I miss the days when we waited for it to rain. The dark cloud in the sky used to carry a fun message and we would gear up for aqua-adventure.  As soon as it started drizzling, we would rush to soiled courtyard to feel the drizzle on own skin. We would close eyes, spread hands, head towards the sky and scream sing.  We competed while smelling the fragrance which earth produced when touched by raindrops. When the water filled up the ground we would jump and splash at each other.  We would tease, fight, and play in the wet playground created by God.

All this was possible because I was fortunate to have spent my early childhood at a remote village in India , where only unadulerated-nature ruled.

Now, shower has replaced raindrops, A.C. has replaced cool morning breeze, frozen food has replaced farm fresh fruits and vegetables, artificial plants beautify our living room and flower has occupied our desktop.  This era of modern science has prompted me to think… can man supersede nature?

Today, my eyes are desperate to see the acres of greenery, my hands are restless to touch the dew-spread paddy plants, my feet are impatient to feel the cold earth, my tongue is slobbering to taste the sun-ripe mango, my body is craving for the touch of those raindrops.

I have got the answer. Nature is priceless and nothing can replace it.