Forgive for Your Own Sake

An early morning, when I turned on BBC, I was in the middle of an ongoing documentary. An old lady in late 50s was talking about her only daughter who was brutally killed after being sexually assaulted by a robber at the farmhouse.
Like others, she decided to fight for her daughter’s justice. The court case lasted for many years. At last, the accused was awarded a death sentence. Finally this is what she said, “… I had a satisfaction that the sinner was punished. But, still I was not at peace. One day I decided to see the convict at the prison. His face was stubbed and pale, and he looked hopelessly at me. I couldn’t believe. I was moved, something from inside stirred me and I decided to forgive..”

“..just in a moment my life was transformed. I felt as if I’m relieved of a big burden. I felt free.”

Revenge is a natural response right after we are hurt. It might console for a while but doesn’t set us free. We still live with a heaviness of guilt. The only way to freedom is forgiveness.

As a human, we feel generous while forgiving. Do it, not for anyone, but yourself!

Are You a Discounting Brand?

Recently I read a brilliant interview of Lutz Bethge, CEO Mont Blanc at economictimes.com. He was asked whether he would also resort to discounting like other luxury retailers. Here is what he said:

“That is not our way. Mont Blanc has always conveyed to customers that we create products of sustainable value. …If you have a promise from a brand that says this is the kind of product you can pass down the generations and the next day you see it heavily marked down, would you still trust the brand?”

I have enormous respect for the confidence he has in Mont Blanc. A true brand is what it stands for unaffected by the market conditions.

We too, like these brands get under pressure in challenging times. We too have the temptation to surrender our values and embrace painless choices. We forget, that’s the real test of what we stand for. If we stand by our values even in demanding times, we would rise above mediocrity and be an example for mankind to follow.

What's Your Brand Name?

Nike, GE, Philips, Fed Ex, Ferrari, Toyota, Google, Rolex--- What do these brands known for? You’d say reliability, quality, good service, value, trust, innovation etc.

How did these words flash to your mind? Most of these companies have been in business for decades and have displayed these incredible characteristics over a period of time, which have created a niche in our memory.

Does this apply to us human beings? Oh yes!

In my behavioral training sessions, I ask participants to think of five adjectives what their family, friends and relatives will put before their name. This is a very powerful exercise which gives them an opportunity to see from a different eye. You can try this too.

Each one of us has created a brand image in the eyes of others and will continue to do so. Based on which our relationship is defined. Now, it is up to you to decide what do you stand for--- trust, reliability, innovation, energy or ---?

What's the price

Paulo is unquestionably the greatest storyteller of present times. I picked this story from his blog. Enjoy reading!

Love
Vivek



“Is the price of living a dream much higher than the price of living without daring to dream?” asked the disciple.

The master took him to a clothes store. There, he asked him to try on a suit in exactly his size. The disciple obeyed, and was very amazed at the quality of the clothes.

Then the master asked him to try on the same suit – but this time a size much bigger than his own. The disciple did as he was asked.

“This one is no use. It’s too big.”

“How much are these suits?” the master asked the shop attendant.

“They both cost the same price. It’s just the size that is different.”

When leaving the store, the master told his disciple, “Living your dream or giving it up also costs the same price, which is usually very high. But the first lets us share the miracle of life, and the second is of no use to us.”

Source: www.paulocoelhoblog.com

Do You Check Your Unproductive Ego?

Ayn Rand quotes in her bestseller the Fountainhead-"Man's ego is the fountainhead of human progress." And I know there are millions of Rand-fanatic across the world including me. I too agree with her, but only if the ego is used productively.

When you look around, do you notice most of the disasters are caused because of ego.. rather unproductive ego?

Joseph is a functional head with poor Excel skills. He struggles for hours to get the formulae and links right, when he has to send the monthly MIS. He can seek help of Yana, his assistant, but he doesn’t. What stops him to reach out? Ego!

Vishesh has a justification ready for everything he says. He very well knows that he is not right. Still he does it, because he can prove others wrong. How do others feel?

Laura never says sorry, despite knowing she is on the wrong side. She feels a boss is always right.

Krish never walks to his team. He rather uses intercom to call them. He has a mindset that people should visit the manager not vice versa. He’s never thought how people will feel when he reaches out to them.

Whether it is family or work, social event or a private moment always have a check on your unproductive ego. By doing this you will open new doors of opportunity and success.

To Master Change, First Dread it

I read this article on Harvard Business Review and it has given me a new perspective to change. Take time to read it.

Cheers!

Vivek

One of my favorite truisms is that change is always a threat when done to me, but it is an opportunity when done by me. Many people hate change because it is inflicted on them; someone else is making them do it. Or because circumstances are totally out of their control. (As a bumper sticker says, "One nuclear war could ruin a whole career.") On the other hand, people change all the time and love it, because they go after something they want - a new venture, a new book, a new spouse, a new baby, a new home, a new career step. In fact, when change is someone's chance to act on personal goals, it is not even called change. It is just "my project."

Tough times shift the done by me/done to me change ratio to the threatening side of loss of control, even beyond struggling industries such as autos or newspapers. Threats arouse defenses that can be paralyzing, just when action is needed. The external forces are too powerful, and the mess made by those already in place is too big for people to regain a feeling of control or find the silver linings of opportunity.

A counter-intuitive tip for mastering change is to start by wallowing in the feelings of dread it arouses. The sheer nail-biting horror of it all. Get in touch with every negative aspect, all the things that could go wrong. Then figure out a way to get that negative force on your side. In short, "Dream your worst nightmare and invest in it."

That nightmare-to-investment point comes from John Taysom, a serial entrepreneur in London who, for a glorious time in the first Internet boom, saved Reuters from being replaced by new technology. While others were whining or denying that rapid advance in Internet technologies would displace Reuters' business model, Taysom looked the beast in the face and analyzed it. He found that the worse nightmares lay in search, for one thing, as well as networking technologies, and that most of the deniers were wrong to say that new companies could never provide the security of data that Reuters offered.

He asked, in short: What will disrupt us? Who is starting to eat away at our proposition? What is emerging to replace us? And how can I make those companies and technologies our partners, befriending and joining the enemies before they destroy us?

Reuters had always commissioned small technology projects from external companies to augment internal R&D. But Taysom recognized that the contracting process, with its RFPs, was likely to get the developers' last ideas rather than their next ideas, and he wanted to go with them toward the next phase. He wanted Reuters to learn from them and make money off them as they developed, while influencing change within Reuters.

Taysom moved from London to Silicon Valley. Despite being nearly fired by Reuters early on for radical thinking, he invested in a range of promising startups, getting board or observer seats and offering new tech ventures not only cash but a Reuters customer. He led one of the first investments in Yahoo! when its founders were still living in the Stanford University dorms. The Greenhouse Fund Taysom started not only made a lot of money for Reuters, it brought rapid learning and partnerships that converted the nightmare into productive changes. Taysom's nightmare and subsequent decision to befriend the potential destroyers of his company helped push transformation. Since then, Taysom moved on, and so did Reuters, which is now part of Thomson Reuters.

This nightmare-first theory is not a pessimistic outlook on life. I examined the research on optimism and pessimism for my book Confidence. It appears that optimists are less afraid of their nightmares than pessimists. Pessimists are more likely to deny or avoid negative information. Optimists are more likely to look at the dark side, because they have the confidence to feel that they can do something about it.

So let me wish you pleasant dreams. And also productive nightmares.

by Rosabeth Moss Kanter. Published in Harvard Business Review

Seeing is Deceiving

We believe what we see, and generally we are very sure, what we have seen can’t be wrong. Mostly we live life driven by this tenet. First impression plays gargantuan role in our life.

We shop based on first impression, we make friends based on first impression, we pick job based on first impression, we fall in love based on first impression and I’m sure it applies far deeper in our life.

While shopping based on first impression may have negligible impact on our life, other decision based on it could alter our life enormously.

You might have heard instances of Evening wedding Morning divorce around. If you ask the parties involved, they’d say they could’ve taken more time to decide.

I read this story somewhere..

The children on bus hated him because his face looked horrifying as if burnt in fire. They took no time to give him a new name..Villain. Nobody talked to him and the journey continued in darkness. It was 1130 pm and the bus stopped with a screeching sound. The tire was gone. The driver pulled out the tire and lifted by the passing bus to the reach a garage. Everyone was stuck in the middle of nowhere. It was scary being at the centre of the desert with no populace in the radius of 40 miles. It was dead silence and any uncalled for event could not be ruled out. All were shaken. A passenger talked about the robbery in this area last week that manifolded the fear.

The man with burnt face stood up and waved at a kid. The child moved ahead hesitatingly. He started sharing a story. Gradually more kids joined in. They were cracking jokes, and shouting poems. Soon the parents also got involved. Misery turned into instant celebration.

Later, the passengers realized that he was a firefighter, who got hurt while saving people from sky scrapper on fire. Despite injury and deep burn on his face, he was able to save 7 lives.

Now, the same man turned hero to the kids.

Take time to understand before you reach a conclusion. Seeing may prove deceiving, at times.

Count the Stars

Last night, fed up with air-conditioned environment, I decided to breathe some hot air (Remember! I’m in Kuwait) and rushed to the balcony. I closed my eyes and loved the smooth warm blow on my face. It felt better than the recycled AC air. Then, I looked up at the sky and realized I had stopped noticing the stars up there. So, I started counting the stars. It was fun, but not easy. Before I could complete the count a few would disappear or new ones showed up.

I kept trying for 30 minutes and thoroughly loved it. This reminded me of childhood days when my kid brother and I would lie on the cot in the courtyard and counted the stars. Our count never matched and we squabbled to prove ourselves right. We even fought and finally it ended up with recounting.

Our life is so mechanized that small acts like these make us feel so happy and different. You too can try this out.

I guess it was much better than toggling keys on computer games. It was far so different, yet simple.

What is Being Brave?

I found the following line very thought provoking while reading Bombay Rains Bombay Girls. Hope it will prompt your neurons to ponder as well..

"..being brave does not mean taking a gun and killing five bad men.. being brave is just having the courage to stand up for what is right and say it with conviction, ignoring whatever anybody else has to say."

Back from Holidays!

I have just come back from holidays in India. I realised my long-cherished dream of visiting Himachal. It had all elements of fun and adventure. We did river-rafting in Pirdi, Snowscooter at Rohtang, Paragliding at Naggar and adventure trip on Manali-Leh highway. It was a bliss to be in heavenly Himachal. Here are some of the pics: